NC Bandwagon

[kiwi24]

I'm back in town and it's the end of day 5 of NC for me. I really did enjoy myself with my friends but I kept thinking of him and what he was up to. He didn't send any Happy New Year's message or anything and neither did I.

 

Now that i'm back I can't but horribly miss him. My friends were sleeping on the drive back while I was trying to hide my tears.

 

I just don't understand.....I love him so much and maybe he just doesnt seem to care that he's hurting me like this? Infact, I really don't know much of what he is feeling...

 

I was going through several common friends wedding pictures and I saw him there smiling, dancing, and enjoying himself....made me hurt even more.

 

I feel like crap and not much more. But i'm sticking with the NC...

[Anusha]

I'm back in town and it's the end of day 5 of NC for me. I really did enjoy myself with my friends but I kept thinking of him and what he was up to. He didn't send any Happy New Year's message or anything and neither did I.

 

Now that i'm back I can't but horribly miss him. My friends were sleeping on the drive back while I was trying to hide my tears.

 

I just don't understand.....I love him so much and maybe he just doesnt seem to care that he's hurting me like this? Infact, I really don't know much of what he is feeling...

 

I was going through several common friends wedding pictures and I saw him there smiling, dancing, and enjoying himself....made me hurt even more.

 

I feel like crap and not much more. But i'm sticking with the NC...

 

 

Hi kiwi24,I have been doing the same trying to figure out how he is felling.I understand that just like me you just would like to know that he cares but that wont help you to move on.Just try to concetrate on you now and try to fell better.

[kiwi24]

End of day 6 with NC. It wasn't too bad today. Sure I thought of him gazillions of times through out the day but I didn't hurt much today...again its the emotional roller coaster because who knows i might be a wreck tomorrow....

So I hear from common friends that he has cut his normal routine with them also. That he doesnt see and talk to them as much as he used to. This to me is kind of weird.

And now even moreso i'm convinced that there had to be more to it than just his parents that he broke up...there has to be...

Anyways I've decided to study for the GMAT and LSATS both and see from there which school (Grad or Law) I want to go after....i guess this will keep me bsuy for the time being...

 

Stay strong everyone!!!

 

 

----------------------------------------

"I need you, boo, I gotta see you, boo

And the hearts all over the world tonight

Said the hearts all over the world tonight"

[zrehman]

Hey KIWI

 

I'm on day 8, I believe and it sucks!!! lol

 

But I am just realizing more and more everyday that I am not happy as I used to be, but I'm also not feeling those negative feelings that I used to feel when I was talking to my ex. I know that everyday, it will get better and I will start feeling more happy ... it will just take time.

 

I'm glad I'm not with her and I'm definitely moving forward!

[SighSob]

Wohoo! Now finally TRUE no contact begins...she's already dating the friend she had a crush on and she wanted to be the one who'd give me the news. So yesterday night we had our last phone talk of our life, and I had the pleasure to tell her that her behiavour was way beyond horrible. After a bunch of "F--- YOU!!" I have to admit I felt better. Now there's no choice but to move on. She's already "falling in love" with this guy - I will call him Mr.Rebound or maybe Mr.Voidfiller - so she won't miss me or reconsider her choice before a long time. I hope I'll have already found true love again by then!

[cookiedough1]

Wow SighSob, that's crazy!! I guess it's some sort of closure....

 

Day 10 for me....and I started work again. I thought it would get my mind off things, but I'm missing him more than ever. I just simply want to pick up the phone and tell him about my day, but I know I can't do that.

[kiwi24]

I broke NC again today....see my post...it's a long story and i feel as though i'm dying inside.

[cookiedough1]

kiwi24,

 

so sorry to hear about that other girl....she sounds pretty immature and you deserve a guy that is honest with you.

 

i hope you're doing ok. we're here for you.

[LovedHim321]

I am on day 6. No contact by phone. We have been emailing once in the morning and once at night, kind of on and off. I miss his voice. I miss his touch. Tomorrow night is counseling, and day 7.

I have a lot to do at work, and I am tired and hungry. Got a term paper to write too and several chapters to read for school.

Keeping busy really helps. It also helps to have a support system or make new friends--or meet up with old ones like I did on one of those sites.

 

I hope you can all keep doing what you set out to do, like me, which is better your life and step away from something that isnt working.

 

Brain+Heart = True Love

[jerk chicken]

im on day 9, feel bad cos last night he came online on msn messenger and he didnt say anything to me, i feel that he doesnt miss me of he wuld have atleast said hi or hope ur ok or anything but he didnt, although the fact he is not bohtered makes me not want to call even more. then i had a dream about him last night.

 

to loved him- whatur doing really isnt NC, and e mailing is just the same as speaking on the phone, u shuldthink about letting go or it will take u longer to get over it.

[Anusha]

I broked NC yesterday.I sent him a email and a text message to let him know about the email.As I said on my other threads he have been ignoring me since the break up and I couldnt stand it anymore.Got no reply from him yet though.Why he doesnt send at least a text saying he doesnt want contact? The fact that he wont send anything hurts me even more.Is like he cant even be bothered to do something small like that.Not that I think he has the obligation to talk to me but if he doesnt want to I think he should at least let me know it.

[zrehman]

Day 15

 

Hello my favorite people!

 

It is only Day 15 for me, but it really feels like 1 year since I've last talked to my ex. I feel as though I am currently in the middle ... I think about and miss my ex at times during the day, but I also think about all the things she's done to me through the course of our relationship.

 

The hardest for me is in the morning, that's when I think about her the most and think about all the cute and sweet things she would say to me or do for me while we were together. Once I'm showered up and starting my day, I think of her less and every time I do think of her ... I associate that with the bad things she's done to me. It helps.

 

I know 1 thing and that is that I will never call her again. I don't ever want to give her the satisfaction that I'm missing her. I am contempt on abiding by the rules of NC.

 

I have my ups and downs and I do miss her and think of her a lot every now and then, but I just hope as the days go by and the more NC I have with her the less I will miss her and think of her.

 

I just want to start my life back and be genuinely happy with the way things are for myself. I know NC is the way, but its different for everyone and I just hope that eventually my time comes were I am completely healed and moving on without any thoughts of missing her.

 

I know I haven't been keeping up day to day, but since its Day 15 and my main goal is to go to Day 30. I will write again on Day 30.

 

I hope everyone is doing well and staying strong!

[jerk chicken]

Hey,

i am not counting the days now cos makes it worse for me!!!!

i was doing fine and focusing on myself and just listing the reasons i wouldnt miss him THEN i just broke down last night after my friend was just being insensitive.

also i keep seeing stuff i dont want to on facebook but i know his password so even if i block him i can just log in.

[SighSob]

jerk chicken, I know my ex's password too but I don't like to feel unnecessary pain so I don't log in with her account...you know, being dumped sucks enough...why would you make it even worse??

 

Back in topic...It's day 7 for me. If I don't count the call I answered one week ago it would be day...20.

I'm doing good, I guess. Unless you were a close friend of mine or my sister you'd say I am doing fine. I'm faking it till I make it...I still hope she'll eventually realize we're meant to be (even if I'm not sure about it either) though.

[kiwi24]

Today marks offically one month since he broke up with me...and today is again back to the end of day 1 of NC.

 

Oh man I cried and cried today. But it passed. Sure I feel horrible but it'll be okay....I have to keep telling myself that.

 

Found out 2 weeks ago he was cheating on me before with a girl 8 yrs younger then him and he and she swore nothing was going on. Then apparently yesterday this girl's OTHER boyfriend found out about this girl being with my ex and somehow I was blamed for it. She immed me on chat and I blocked her. My ex didn't stand up for me and I've had it...

 

2 year relationship went to the crapper all because ppl can't tell the truth or control themselves...they are both going to self-destructive because they have woven a NASTY triangle.... my ex, the girl he's messing with, and the girl's actual bf....

 

I wipe my hands clean...here's to Day 2 of NC!!!

[zrehman]

Finally made it to DAY 30

 

First of all, how is everyone doing with there NC? Jerk Chicken? Kiwi? Carol? Hope you folks are staying strong and doing what is best for your own interest.

 

I initiated NC with my ex December 28th around 5 am, when I sent her a text letting her know that this is just too hard for me to stay friends and that I need to move on and heal.

 

I got a text from her on New Years Eve at 12:03 am, she just said, "Happy New Years. Wish you all the best life has to offer. Taking my dad to the aeroport. Exciting. Anyways, Be well."

 

I did not respond to her text or wish her a Happy New Years back. After that last text she sent me, she has not tried at all to contact me by phone, email, IM or text.

 

During the first week of NC, I was pumped and amped on not wanting to have anything to do with her ... I hated her. This week, I have been down and thinking about her a lot ... I've actually been missing her and wanting to hear her voice. I keep thinking about all the cute things she used to do and all the great sex we used to have. However, I do my very hardest to block out all these feelings from what she did to me throughout the course of our relationship.

 

But still I find myself forgiving her and there are moments I want her back in my life ... Why??

[twiceinoneyear]

Wow, congratulations on making it that far. You give me hope.

[Seymore]

Because you were attached to her for a long period of time. I stopped counting the days of NC. I think it's been about 30 days, too. I don't even care to count. I have my weak days, too, especially when she tries to get in touch and talks about changing...I know better and don't respond. The quote from the Joker in The Dark Knight sticks in my mind: "There's no going back. You've changed things...forever." And that's what she did. All the chances I gave her, all the embarrassment and abuse she put me through - there's no returning from that. I don't want to go back. Sometimes I wonder what she's doing, but 90% of the time, I don't care. I'm doing well! I hope you stick to it and overcome, man!

[zrehman]

Wow, congratulations on making it that far. You give me hope.

 

Thank you my friend.

 

What's your situation?

[zrehman]

Because you were attached to her for a long period of time. I stopped counting the days of NC. I think it's been about 30 days, too. I don't even care to count. I have my weak days, too, especially when she tries to get in touch and talks about changing...I know better and don't respond. The quote from the Joker in The Dark Knight sticks in my mind: "There's no going back. You've changed things...forever." And that's what she did. All the chances I gave her, all the embarrassment and abuse she put me through - there's no returning from that. I don't want to go back. Sometimes I wonder what she's doing, but 90% of the time, I don't care. I'm doing well! I hope you stick to it and overcome, man!

 

Thanks buddy! So what I'm feeling now is a normal process everyone goes through??

 

Will time and NC be the only saviors for me to truly heal and not feel this way??

[Seymore]

Time and NC, my friend. You were so used to being with someone that you miss it. I used the "phantom limb syndrome" comparison before - you cut off an arm, for a long period of time you feel like it's still there, but it's not. After all you went through with her, would you really want that back in your life? She sounds cold - that last text you got from her - cold and ambivalent. You're thinking about the sex as you said, and I'll bet that's what's partly clouding your mind. I think you want someone in your life, not necessarily her. You'll be better for it, man. 30 days is no easy task, and that's coming from someone who's around 30 himself.

[zrehman]

Time and NC, my friend. You were so used to being with someone that you miss it. I used the "phantom limb syndrome" comparison before - you cut off an arm, for a long period of time you feel like it's still there, but it's not. After all you went through with her, would you really want that back in your life? She sounds cold - that last text you got from her - cold and ambivalent. You're thinking about the sex as you said, and I'll bet that's what's partly clouding your mind. I think you want someone in your life, not necessarily her. You'll be better for it, man. 30 days is no easy task, and that's coming from someone who's around 30 himself.

 

Thanks Seymore. That was a very enlightening message for me.

 

I know I'm an idiot for asking this Mr. Webster Seymore hehe, but what does ambivalent mean? Also, why do you think the text she sent me was cold?

[Seymore]

Ambivalent is not the word I meant to use, sorry. Don't know why I wrote that instead. I meant indifferent, not ambivalent. It sounded to me like "Yep...good luck to you. I'm off to do this now, later."

 

TMI, maybe, but any time I feel like I'm missing her, it's usually because my horniness is about to kick in. I watch porn once in a while to get an image in my head of a woman other than my ex, and afterwards, I feel much better.

[fiffy]

Well done!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am day 25, not far behind you!

 

Its funny, I have been missing my ex today. Have no idea why. It seems I have forgot all the bad and just wish we were friends again. I just remember all the fun times and the great friendship. I can't help but wonder how he could throw all that away and not want anything to do with me.

 

I guess its natural after some time has passed to forget the bad and remember the good. I wonder if they think this way too?

 

Maybe they will. Maybe our exs will have regrets?

 

Its funny today I had an e-mail from an ex flatmate. He had treated his ex terribly (she was also a flatmate) and was asking for her e-mail to contact her to say sorry. This is four years on so it just shows people do have regrets.

 

Wish my ex did

[zrehman]

Ambivalent is not the word I meant to use, sorry. Don't know why I wrote that instead. I meant indifferent, not ambivalent. It sounded to me like "Yep...good luck to you. I'm off to do this now, later."

 

TMI, maybe, but any time I feel like I'm missing her, it's usually because my horniness is about to kick in. I watch porn once in a while to get an image in my head of a woman other than my ex, and afterwards, I feel much better.

 

hahaha ... I'm not sure what the reasons are that I still miss her and love her. But I was with her for 4 years, so I figure that it will take some time for the healing process until I have no more feelings for her.