My boyfriend has depression. What can I do?

[boltnrun]

3 minutes ago, Honeycomb8 said:

Did anyone manage to stick through things with you? 

I wasn't trying to be in a romantic relationship. I knew I couldn't be. Plus I sought treatment right away. I told my family and friends and explained that I might be reacting to some things in a strange way. But I didn't want to remain that way so I saw a doctor right away.

[boltnrun]

You have two options: accept him the way he is and dial back your hopes and expectations, or understand he isn't in the right emotional space to be a romantic partner and step away.

[Honeycomb8]

I think I'm going to dial back things and give him space. I can just do my own thing and still spend time with him as well. 

I'll just socialise some more and keep myself busy. Ending things would just be depressing and I know I will regret it. 

[MissCanuck]

How long have you been dating? 

[Honeycomb8]

Nearly a year and four months now. 

[Batya33]

49 minutes ago, Honeycomb8 said:

This was very insightful. I will bring it up with him to see if he can get some medication that would work better for him. 

 

Do you think he's unaware that there might be medication alternatives?  

[Batya33]

3 hours ago, Honeycomb8 said:

Besides the meds issue, what can I tell him so that he can feel more supported? 

 

There's nothing to tell him.  Words are for his doctors and therapists and professionals who use words based on their expertise.  I would show him that you take care of you.  By your actions -like you said -take space, give him space - show him that you are there for him when you can be - as a partner. Not as a mom, a therapist, a pharmacist.  He knows how to let you know when he feels well enough to be with you as a partner.  I actually think that sort of showing him is supportive because it shows him your healthy boundaries and shows him you're not going to overwhelm him by trying to play parent or therapist.

[Honeycomb8]

Oh yeah that sounds like something I could do. I know it won't be easy but I want to give this my best shot. 

[LaHermes]

3 hours ago, Honeycomb8 said:

As I said, I am not looking to walk away. I would rather stay. 

Then there is nothing further to be said. 

[SooSad33]

Yes, for sure, this will be hard on you 😕 .

IF you choose to remain there for him, expect this sort of thing... and just wait it out.  he know's you are there for him.

You say he's got meds ( if it is anti depr's and he doesn't favour it, then how about something else?  There are diff options- but he needs to keep up with dr's... and how about therapy?  That is helpful as well).

 

[boltnrun]

57 minutes ago, Honeycomb8 said:

Oh yeah that sounds like something I could do. I know it won't be easy but I want to give this my best shot. 

As long as you are honest with yourself about what your expectations and "hopes" are. If you think sticking around will make him start interacting with you more or he will "change" for you, you will be disappointed. But if you view him as someone you care about who will be a part of your life but won't be involved in a major portion of it you should be fine.

[Chupapi]

Tell him to take cold showers.