Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Buzz I disagree. I think time heals and erodes barriers better than water. When both of you are healed and the anger and hurt has washed away you both will probably be able to be in touch with each other. And I seriously doubt he hates you. Something in your pain shows that you ARE a sweet person even if you were a jerk to him before. That is something you can remedy in yourself. Right now however you don't need to worry about being with him or his friend. Right now you need to mitigate your pain. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 i think it hurts so much because i always thought he was the one i was supposed to be with - in a way i still think that eventually we will be ready for each other and give it another go - i know thats pretty immature of me and im looking at things pretty one dimentionally - but i do still unfortunately think hes the one for me - just not yet Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Buzz it isn't immature to think he is the one for you. You are IN LOVE with him and love automatically makes you feel he is the one and only. Hell, he might be the right partner for you, but just not right now. Nothing is set in stone babe. Nothing. He might regret his decision and time might pass where you are both healed enough to give it another try or start over as something new together. But right now you have to let go in order to avoid further humiliation and pain. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 i have let go - or am in the process of at least and it hurts... but i have no other choice at the moment i see that... it just hurts that something so beautiful turned so sour so quicky without either of us realising.... i dont think ill ever be able to trust him with my heart again..... i dont see him changing his mind, he truly is already moving on and thats why i have to too and it hurts because im the one that stuffed up and pushed him away with my actions Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Buzz try to avoid thinking in absolutes right now. This will get a lot better. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 hopefully - i just dont see it yet - i really believe i will always be holding out for him, i do truly love him Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 i have let go - or am in the process of at least and it hurts... but i have no other choice at the moment i see that... it just hurts that something so beautiful turned so sour so quicky without either of us realising.... i dont think ill ever be able to trust him with my heart again..... i dont see him changing his mind, he truly is already moving on and thats why i have to too and it hurts because im the one that stuffed up and pushed him away with my actions Hey - you sound like you're doing better. It's ok - it's hard, but it will be ok one day again. Live and learn, right? You're on the right track. Chin up! Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 15, 2005 Author Share Posted June 15, 2005 im slowly getting better but it still hurts... its not that i want to move on but hes making it pretty clear i dont have any other option - i still love him but dont think id take him back if he came crawling back into my life tomorrow - he has hurt me, im realising that i am better off without him for now but that doesnt stop the pain and doesnt stop me from loving him unfortunately Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Honestly buzz I feel bad about this. There is something sweet and innocent about you in your pain. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 sweet and innocent and nieve cos i still think that in a few years we will try again and it will be different and work.... which is just a silly idea! but i cant help it Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 Buz really, it was a compliment about as geniune as they come. There is really something sweet about you and I think you are gonna do just fine where men are involved. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 18, 2005 Author Share Posted June 18, 2005 i know now i just need to wrok on not loving him Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 23, 2005 Author Share Posted June 23, 2005 he called me today - 10 days after i instituted no contact and almost a month since ive seen him face to face he called me looking for his staff discount card... when i told him that id drop it at his work after hed finished his shift he told me no hurry... then told me to have a good one..... i told him i would and the entire conversation lasted about 50 seconds.... why did he call if there was no rush on the card? why didnt he leave me alone for longer?? Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Buzz that's his way of breaking no contact. Do not answer the phone. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 24, 2005 Author Share Posted June 24, 2005 i almost didnt answer it when his work munber came up on my mobile - but then i gave in... wish i hadnt.. its just made me miss him again... why do people do that? if someone is getting on with their life and healing why does the other person stick their nose in again???? Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted June 24, 2005 Share Posted June 24, 2005 Buzz it's about control and cuz he hasn't perhaps gotten over you completely OR cuz he is to self-absorbed and selfish to give a rats ssa. And them again maybe it's just because, like a lot of people, he's just ignorant and doesn't realize the consequences breaking NC has on you. Please, in the future, do not pick up the phone. I see your suffering and frustration and realize you are indeed a sweet person, perhaps not the jerk he thought you were, and that you truly did love him. For him to act this way is disheartening. But you got to be tough now and stay on NC for another five months or more. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted June 30, 2005 Author Share Posted June 30, 2005 i am being strong... actually its not so much that im being strong but rather i dont want to talk to him at the moment... im not sure when i will want to again... or if i even will... ive lost alot of respect for him and am trying to move on, ive realised he isnt the person now that he was when we first started seeing each other and that he will never be that person again. Im not contacting him and havent for over 3 weeks now and its helping.. i am healing and starting to feel better but every time the phone rings and its his number my heart starts beating rapidly again and it feels like its in my throat thats how i know im not over him and thats why i let the phone ring out and dont answer. its amazing.... i havent contacted him for 3 weeks and now hes starting to contact me - he tried to ring me 5 times last nite - i actually had to turn my phone off and he left like 2 text messages.... i stop contacting him all together - no messages, no calls, no emails, no seeing each other and suddenly he has tried to contact me about 10 times so far... each time making up and excuse about wanting to get something off me - this time its my photos from our overseas trip.... doesnt he realise that i need time to heal? that im not going anywhere and why cant he wait a couple of months to ask for these things? its not like im walking out of his life for ever... just long enough for me to get over him and move on.... why have the tables turned? is he really just after his stuff? or is he still playing games with me?? Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Buzz you need to inform him not to call you again at any cost. If you have caller id do not pick up. He is playing games with you and trying to keep you on a leash. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 yeh - i do have caller id and thats why im not answering the phone - he wont call the home phone cos ive moved back in with my parents since this has all happened and the last thing he will want to do is talk to either one of them after wat hes done i just dont see why he is doing this!! why wont he just let me move on? after all its what he said he wanted... he broke up with me... i know that he wants to be friends again eventually but he has to realise that i need time to heal and move on!! i cant just switch off my feelings like he has!!! its so frustrating!!! and his excuses for calling are almost pathetic... Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Buzz honestly everytime I C your posts I get giddy out of everybody on here. (No I ain't lookin' for a date). You are an extremely sweet person. I wish I could make you forget em. But honestly, he is doing it cuz he can and he ain't over you but he ain't willing to risk getting hurt again. So what's done is done. He is doin it cuz he can and it validates him. That's all. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 so basically he is doing it because all tho he doesnt want to be with me he doesnt want to let me go just yet and doesnt want me to move on? thats a little unfair dont you think... that he can move on and start dating again (even tho i know these poor girls are nothing more than 'rebound') but he wont give me the same opporunity... i dont want anyone at the moment... all i want is to heal and move on with my life... find someone who actually wants to be with me and doesnt play all these stupid games... i am going to keep ignoring the calls, the messages and anything else he wants to throw at me - he did this, he decided this is what he wants and now he has to live with his decision (sound evil dont i ) but i cant go back to being that mess that i was a few weeks ago... im getting better and i dont want to give him the opporunity to hurt me again Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 Buzz sounds to me like you are already on the right track. You are handling this strong and maturely. Keep it up. You will have the relationship you want. I have ignored the last fifty PMS i got begging for help but you are welcome to write to me anytime you want if you just want feed back and an ear. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 thank you so much i really do appreciate it and will probably take you up on the offer, youve been such a help and my saviour thru some of this... how did you get to be so wise? damn damn damn... he just called my work phone - i dont have caller id on it! felt like he did it just to gloat (hes finally bought a car) LIKE I CARE!! sorry im so angry - i told him that i was really busy and messaged him after telling him to leave me alone and to give me time and space told him that just beacuse hes moved on doesnt mean that im not still hurting.... hes so arrogant!!! Link to comment
Napoleon Bonaparte Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Buzz he is toying with your emotions. Do not listen to his messages. Stay out of contact. I really feel for you. Link to comment
buzz bee Posted August 1, 2005 Author Share Posted August 1, 2005 hey there.... well im getting there.. went overseas for three weeks and didnt really think fo him at all however he sent me an email the other day telling me that he has a new girlfriend (after only two months of us being apart) and that they are very happy together this email helped me to see what a child he really is and its helping me to move on, i know he is trying to hurt me and im not going to let him anymore... im starting to see him for the person he really is and although i miss him he is no longer the same person, i miss someone who no longer exisits! its hard but im managing!! havent talked to him or contacted him for like 6 weeks now and im not planning on having any contact... i didnt respond to the email and its going to stay that way... im getting stronger Link to comment
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