Boyfriend of 8 years may have gotten another woman pregnant while we were broken up

[Summerchild]

So I’ve been with this this guy for about 8 years. We have a four year old together and we were engaged but I called it off a few years back due to not have both families present for the wedding (we grew up on opposite sides of the country). There was also infidelity that led to our break up. We were broken up for about a year and 9 months. During that time he begged me to take him back I told him no go find someone else and leave me alone. Eventually he did and long story short we decided to try again. He has let me know that while we were broken up he met someone and they messed around. He also made it clear it was not a relationship just hook ups. He told the other woman all about me and how he wanted his family back. I’m not sure what to do if she comes back around saying she’s pregnant. Side note: he broke it off with the girl the same day we got back together and showed me a message from her stating she would be ok with being on the side. He declined and that’s when she stated she may be pregnant but it’s too early to tell.....I’m not sure what to do. He confirmed they did have one slip up. 

[Hollyj]

Can you share about the time he cheated?

[SooSad33]

37 minutes ago, Summerchild said:

I called it off a few years back due to not have both families present for the wedding (we grew up on opposite sides of the country). There was also infidelity that led to our break up.

YOU called it off... for a couple reasons.  he does not seem right.

WHY you took this guy back, I don't know.

Do you truly trust him now?  Knowing his track record...

[Summerchild]

Yea it was after my daughter was born I worked pretty much all the time. We had to temporarily move in with his family it was very stressful. I worked nights he worked days with a new baby we rarely spent anytime together. When we were able to be off from work I would be too tired to go out. He cheated and the girl sent me a dm with proof.  I’m not sure if she wanted me to know out of pity or to throw it in my face. (I didn’t know the girl but she knew of me).  He didn’t deny it and we broke up shortly after that. I moved back to my hometown about 2000 miles away from him and we recently got back together and moved back in together. 

[Summerchild]

@SoSadd33 I guess I wanted my family back. I feel like I trust him but I wasn’t expecting this curve ball at all. I’m not sure I can stay if she is pregnant. I don’t really want to deal with drama I didn’t cause. 

[Hollyj]

You shouldn't have taken this guy back.  He has some big character issues, plus he is very irresponsible (lack of condom).

If you continue, there will be more problems and babies.

[SooSad33]

Yah, I can understand that. 😞 

As that be on HIM.  He took that road & that chance.. be more stress, for sure.

Just too much crap, eh?  

[Summerchild]

Thank you guys I really appreciate your insight. I gotta put on my big girl pants and move forward. ♥️

[Hollyj]

Best decision for you and your child.

[Rose Mosse]

You will have your daughter and he will be a part of her life and your life as well while you coparent. You haven't lost your family but the circumstances can change if you allow it or if you open yourself to it. 

There's too much chaos and lack of consideration for you and your child. He broke it off with her the same day he got back together with you. Too much too soon. Even if she isn't pregnant, think about whether this is the sort of partner you need or want. 

 

[Hollyj]

I strongly suggest STD testing as he was having unprotected sex.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Summerchild said:

So I’ve been with this this guy for about 8 years. We have a four year old together

There was also infidelity that led to our break up. We were broken up for about a year and 9 months. 

 He declined and that’s when she stated she may be pregnant but it’s too early to tell.

Sorry this happened. How long are you back together?

As you know it may be a bluff or a ploy, however if they decide to go forward with this, it's a headache and heartache you don't need. 

Reflect on if you got back together because of his pleading or because it's what you actually want.