Attracting unavailable men

[SherrySher]

Catfeeder. don't laugh but I'm that woman. lol. I never talk about my personal life at work. I realize its probably not the norm

 

It's a combination of my own boundaries, being in a male dominated field, surrounded by men and the level of the work... Getting personal is not frowned upon, per se, but its not really a welcomed topic either.

 

Lambert, you just described me to a T!

 

Don't get me wrong, I am not a cold woman whatsoever. When I love, I love hard and am 110% committed. I never give up on my loved ones and the people I hold dear to my heart have been there since my teenage years and no doubt will be there will the end of my life.

 

BUT I am not an open book for just anyone. I don't invite whomever into my life. I am very picky on who I talk to and even more picky on allowing anyone to know my personal life.

I have learnt in life that it makes more sense to be cautious. To always be polite and friendly, but that is NOT the same as being personal and being friends.

 

I can smile at my co workers and say hello, ask how their day was. But it stops there. To me, that's politeness. But I prefer to keep my co workers at an arms length.

I have my close friends already, I have my husband already. I don't feel the need to befriend people at work or for them to know my business.

 

Even when I was single, it was the same way. Work is a paycheque, if I was hoping to meet friends or date, I met people elsewhere.

I have never mixed the two.

 

keep yourself reserved until you see what's up.

 

Again, so so true. Why would you get all friendly with someone just because they talk to you? You can be polite, but you also need to step back and find out who this person is before you allow them into your world at all. That's just being smart.

 

Polite, but neutral. Step back and don't get emotionally involved or make assumptions until you know what's what.

[SherrySher]

Bottom line: is you want to date him, find out who he is and what he's about--upfront--by simply asking.

 

Yep. Find out details before you even come close to thinking this is someone worth talking to in order to eventually date.

[kim42]

Thanks Sherry, great advice! I was friendly with him because he was friendly with me. I think I tend to let down my guard too fast sometimes.