Can go back to being friends with your ex if you love her

[mrsadman]

This is my second post my first was titled "my girlfriend broke up with me my first year of college". My second question to ask everyone is after reading my first post or even you didn't can I or from your past wiser experiences be friends with your ex im only 18 and she was my first girlfriend. I know alot of people say yes because me and her were friends first but were only friends for four months and we had the same classes together. I see alot of people on this forum say they are friends with their ex still but I cannot believe that because I was the person who she broke up with and I really loved her with all heart. I don't know how I could ever be her friend again with the feelings I have for her. How have you people out there still be friends with a person who you still love even though the other person does not feel the same about you. I emailed her one of my many emails to her after she broke up with asking if we could still be friends but I just said that because she had not responded to my first two emails and she said yes we could still be friends. She was a great person too and very popular but I can't even look at her face without bringing up old memories and feeling bad that I cannot have her anymore. How do you people out there do that without breaking down and crying. Did you all give it time before you all became friends again or did you quickly after the relationship was over become friends again. I mean the reason she broke up with is because I told her that I loved her in only one month and she was not ready at least that what I heard from her friend. If you read my first post tell me if you think I could ever be friends with her again after not be able to even look at her when she was in class with after she broke up with me. I wasn't mad at her just it was just hard to look at her beautiful face again and think about what we use to have. I'd like to hear from some girls who broke up with their boyfriend and how did he look at you after you broke up with him and if he was able to become friends with you again.

[bryan]

hey bro,

 

My lady broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I dont talk to her and she doesnt talk to me. My advice is to just leave her alone and dont contact her until she contacts you. How can you be friends with someone you love? I mean its only going to cause you more grief and pain to watch the one you love dating other guys and hanging with other men. I mean shes not going to give the same attention and effort as when you were together with her. Youre only going to frustrated. I say leave her alone and wait til she comes crying back. If she doesnt then it was never meant to and you will just have to continue your search for the right gal. Good luck man.

 

Bryan

[bryan]

sorry double post

[Gilgamesh]

Its not always easy to stay friends with your Ex, especially if your still in love with her.

 

Time is the answer, you need to get over her first, you need to heal yourself and forgive. you need time alone away from her to do that, I know you still hold hope inside, we all do when we first break up, but even if you do get together again, having some time alone to heal and get over her is the best thing you can do, because even though you dont know it , inside your a bit angry at her, and this is why you need to have a clean slate emotionally, irregardless of whether you get back together or not.

 

You know very well, that if she finds someone new, you going to be in a world of hurt. keep in contact if you must but, distance yourself as much as possible. let her initiate the contacts.

 

take care

[kayla0624]

Its kind of an awkward postition huh? You love the girl with all your heart, but the relationship didnt work, and ofcourse there is the option of being friends, but you would much rather be in a relationship with her, but you are afraid if you're not friends with her, then you will never have a chance to get back with her, well, my advice is to forget her for a while---well actually not forget her, just drop her for a while, concentrate on something else, and when you meet a new lady, getting over her will be easy! Then, once you have a new lady, and your feelings are gone for this one, it will be a lot easier to be friends with this one! So give it time, the only way you wont lose your feelings for her, is if she is REALLY THE ONE and if that is the case, then none of this will matter, because if you are supposed to be together, it will happen! Hope ive helped ya! email me if ya'd like!

[cobro]

I am going through the same situation as you, she broke it off with me to go back to her ex, who cheated on her before. I tried to stay her friend for a month, it hurt too much, she told me INTIMATE details about her new relationship. That was too much for me. A couple of weeks later we got into an argument and we cut contact. It has been 2 weeks since I've talked to her, she called me once last week, left me a voicemail telling me she still cares about me, wonders about me, and I don't have to call her back. I never did. I really don't know if I'll ever talk to her again, it's basically my decision, her friend told me. I need time to heal. It is impossible to stay friends right away if you really love the person, especially if they are seeing someone else, much less sleeping with someone else. In these two weeks of no contact I've learned what I want in my future, what I want in my next girl, and everything happens for a reason. If she comes back, then it is meant to be, in the meantime improve yourself and establish some goals. Someone will be attracted to that.

Later

cobro

[Jessiepunk55]

I cant understand how people can be friends with their ex's cause my guy just left me a couple of days ago and i cant get over him, i loved him so much and i still do and see the funny thing is is that he wants to be friends with benifits, what the hell is that about,hu?!?! I mean why would guys do that to their ex's? it could happen cause i was friends with my ex boy friend from along time ago but we no longer talk because at a party he took adavantage of me, but enough about me and yes you can still be friends it just takes time, time only heals. and what hurts us only makes us stronger...take care guy!

[mrsadman]

Thank you for the advice all especially Kayla that was great advice because even though she was a great friend probably the best one she was a great gf as well and now that I've fell in love with her I can't just go back to being friends with her. I wish I could though maybe I am stubborn and now that I haven't talked to her in a while she won't want to be friends with me. I do think she is the one so I will hope that I can be her friend again, but i will always hope for more though.