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Should I still remain friends? What’s he doing?


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I have a male friend that has mental health issues, he can become suicidal and very depressed. We became really close last year (not in a sexual way) he told me he was “falling in love with me”. I was getting feelings for him too but I couldn’t be in a relationship at that point and also I felt like he needed to work on himself more. We stopped talking for about a couple of months, that was my choice as I wanted to get over him. Then we started chatting again about 5 months ago, he told me he met a girl and they are apparently in a relationship but says “my heart still lies with you”. I still have feelings for him and now his girlfriend wants him to stop talking to me. He still does but through a different format rather than call/text. I said to him it’s not fair on your girlfriend and should stop talking. He doesn’t want to. But I think he just likes to talk to me about his problems because he doesn’t have anyone else. He told me he “has hopes we will be together”, I had a go at him and said it was immoral of him to say that to me. He told me he’s not happy with this girl and says he’s with her because it gives him stability.

I told him I am not going to be his friend anymore and he said “I’m only talking to you because I feel sorry for you, go get a guy of your own and get out of my hair, you are crazy and unstable”. I got extremely upset but he messaged me today saying he was feeling really low and suicidal. I told him I can’t be friends and he tells me that he really wants me in his life. Is he using me because he’s lonely?

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You should not be communicating if he is in a relationship, and if he still has feelings for you! You are right, it is wrong. I also thinks he likes to keep you around for an ego boost.


You are not his therapist, nor are you qualified to act like one. I think it is also very selfish of him to expect you to play counselor.


This guy sounds like an azzhole. He is not your friend. Block and delete him!


This guy is using the suicide card as an excuse to keep you around for attention. He is manipulative and abusive. let his gf deal with this.

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Is he using me because he’s lonely?


He's using you for attention when he doesn't get the coddling he wants from his girlfriend. It also validates him to have two women want him. This has shades of emotional manipulation all over it.


You are not going to be able to remain friends. Let him know you will contact emergency services the next time he tells you he is feeling suicidal. And then follow through with it. That will force him to either get the help he genuinely needs from medical professionals, or he will cut it out with the emotional blackmail.

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He has doctors, therapists, friends, family and now a new gf to talk to. Stop playing therapist, cease all contact and find someone single available and healthy.

I think he just likes to talk to me about his problems because he doesn’t have anyone else. ?
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