Need some advice

[Taint]

Well Hello there... feeel kinda weird doing this.... but i like the feeling of having anonymous advice while i dont freak anyone out.... we'll here is my story....

 

About 2 months ago i've met this girl online.... Through a game infact.... but for this game we used a program called ventrilo and we talked a lot through it. Flirting kinda and some people noticed... So one brought it to my attention to tell her that I like her.. So i did and she said she liked me to.... so now kind of a cyber bf/gf... But she is still insecure.... we both know what we sound and look like....even though we dont know how the real life physical attraction would be.... But about that physical attration she's flying over to the U.S. for 2 months and were going to meet up for a week in San Jose for a convention. So thats where our physical attraction is going to be found out. For the past month and a half i've been flirting and letting my emotions go on her.... and i've never done that with anyone not even my ex's. Shes smart and pretty and sometimes a mean ***** at that but thats why i love her. But, the problem is shes had some jerks as her ex's that have used and abused her. And well she's scared in a way.... i dont blame her. But recently i've been noticing but by letting my emotions go on her that ive been pressuring her and i let her know that those werent my intentions. Yes I love her and i hope she can love me back the same but i dont want it to be fake. So she knows how i feel and i decided not to pressure her anymore buy nagging to her how much i love her... She is interested in me but shes being real skeptic... Shes coming for 2 months to meet friends and at the week of the con were going to meet as friends... If we never obtain the level of romance were friend forever pretty much. Im pretty much the Nice guy and she's pretty much the friendly lovable girl. My feelings for her her positive and hers are neutral right now.... and i dont want to be forced.... But she tweeks my ego a bit sometimes that there is a chance.... and im sacrificing a whole lot to go to her.... pretty much my familys trust.... and she and I both have gone through life's hardships.... weve both grown wiser because of what life has done for us... maybe thats why I like her... she knows what its like... But im just scared and now im doing this thing.... Im sorry for the random rambling at points but i cant help it... dont know how to ask for advice on this since its Soo vague but anything to sooth and relax the soul would do i guess.... thank you

 

 

 

edit: Oh she is 19 and im almost 20..... Me and her are both very mature for our ages but love is neither of our strong holds.

[darkblue]

well first i want u to know that i'm not the biggest fan of cyber relationshipz 'n firstly i'd say u should have someone go with u to meet her.. a friend maybe.. jst to ensure she is who she sayz she is

 

it may sound paranoid 'n stupid but u never know these dayz

 

as for the 'relationship' i'd say if u are goin to meet her 'n have feelingz for her.. u've done pretty much the rite thing

 

u've told her how u feel then backed off.. not pressuring for it back..i admire that

 

so past bfz have treated her badly .. as long as ur not one of them or like them she'll see that

 

but don't be put off that it takes her a while to get comfortable.. expect her to be insecure

 

best of luck 'n keep us updated

 

__________________________________________________________-

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Oscar Wilde

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

I think you should supress your feelings and not put too much into this until you both are physically around each other a bit. You are gonna scare her away if you act too interested, too infatuated. Remember, she has been hurt and hurtpeople don't always make the right decisions.

[DN]

Explain more about losing your family's trust please

[Taint]

I cant really.... its way more personal then this.... perse me and my mom havent talked for about 3 weeks.... and she said she disowned me....

[smallworld]

I've had cyber friends before and I know how easy it is to get caught up in its romantic aspects: destiny, soulmates, the intimacy of secrets shared and revealing our 'true selves.' It's all very romantic. Unfortunately relationships that delicate don't always survive the real world, so it's wise for her (and you!) to hold back feelings and approach this as if you're friends meeting for the first time.

 

Try not take to her skepticism personally. Despite all that you've shared, she's right. You won't know if you really have chemistry until you meet her in person and vice versa. The good news is it'll be fun finding out!!!

[Taint]

yeah i talked to her about that... were gonna meet as a group of friends.... i asked her lets not rush things but to atleast give me a chance... lets spend our week together as friends and when she goes back home we can see if things can progress.

[SPark]

Right? It will NO DOUBT be bizarre to meet in person, and OF COURSE you will need time with that. It sounds to me as though you are going about this in exactly the right way. Best of luck to you both.