RayRay63 Posted January 10, 2020 Share Posted January 10, 2020 Kids bounce back. He can make his own mind up when he turns 18. Better that he not be in the middle of this in the meantime, because it is going to get ugly. Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 12, 2020 Author Share Posted January 12, 2020 She called today. Actually we have been on the phone 3 times now in the period of 4 days since she reached out. She asked for me to let the kids be in touch whenever my son comes to visit me, that she would like to keep picking him up. She said she doesn't want to meet me for coffees or anything, we have nothing to really talk to me and that we have no future together because she has no feelings. She told me to stop inviting her and being pushy because that was the biggest reason she left me, she said i was all the time over her, touching her, wanting to spend all my time with her, trying to control her and order her around, trying to change her personality, etc. She said its been 4 days since we start talking and you are already sending more msgs than u should imposing yourself with demands and invitations. She told me things are now in good terms between us, if i act normal and nice to her she will do the same to me and everything will be fine between the kids. She told me she will call me when my son is here to plan things. she also told me that even if she has 0,5% interest in me she wouldn't come back to me because i spent 2 weeks in xmas banging the mother of my kid. And that now i want her back because the mother of my kid left. I have a feeling she reached out to me during no contact to check if me and the mother of my kid were together and if I had changed. Unfortunately I went right back pouring my feelings out and asking her out with several msgs and she could tell I'm still the old smothering guy. Nevertheless, the situation now is a lot better than few weeks ago, I am not blocked, she has reached out, she has showed that she has no problems in texting me or calling me, so I better chill out. What I will do is stay in no contact, reply short politely if she reaches out again, and during the kids exchange hi, how are you and bye, no invitations. If she ever changes her mind, during one of the kids exchanges she probably can ask me in to her place for coffee i'm guessing. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 She said its been 4 days since we start talking and you are already sending more msgs...with ... invitations. So you asked her out again. You should have told her you are ceasing contact with her, and she should respect that and not call you. You should have also told her that you value your limited time with your son, and will not share it with her. You also need to stop thinking that the "kids exchanges" are some sort of vehicle for you to get an invitation from her, because you are guessing wrong. Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 I think she reached out to see if I was dating the mother of my kid, she seemed jealous. But as soon I started to send msgs to her saying I still love her she backed off and started to accused me I haven't changed. She seems like she enjoyed this. To teach out, provoke me so I lose my cool so she can then accuse me of being crazy. Link to comment
MaybeThen Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 That’s just you making sh1t up. She’s been clear Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 Come on now, she reached out after weeks of NC to ask if u have a book of hers that she knows I never touched it. U really think she gave a about a book.. Also then she told me if she had any interest on me like 1% she wouldn't get back to me because she knew the mother of my kid slept at my place 2 weeks. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 You keep talking about her "reaching out" to you. She has not done any such thing. She contacted you about logistics. Kids, tidying up items. Each time she does this you misinterpret it as something it isn't. Then you get all weak/needy/clingy and bombard her (her expressed view - "sending more msgs than u should") with "I love you" and "Lets go out together" messages. You are begging, pleading and making a fool of yourself. You are validating her decision to give you the boot. You are annoying her and making her angry, probably why she mentioned your ex after you, yet again, asked her out. You physically assaulted this woman, you are lucky she didn't call the cops. What are you going to do when she calls you to arrange kids' time, and tells you her new boyfriend is doing the pick up? You need to take the advice that has been given multiple times on this thread, because you are carrying on like an immature prat and in the process ruining what little chance (probably none, in truth) that you ever had of reconciling with her. Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 She reached out "hello, have u see a book called? I ant find it" after several weeks of no contact. But u are right I'm not asking her out again or initiate any contact. I'll reply to her texts only and be friendly that's it. When she comes to pick up the kids hi and bye.. That's it. Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 You keep talking about her "reaching out" to you. She has not done any such thing. She contacted you about logistics. Kids, tidying up items. Each time she does this you misinterpret it as something it isn't. Then you get all weak/needy/clingy and bombard her (her expressed view - "sending more msgs than u should") with "I love you" and "Lets go out together" messages. You are begging, pleading and making a fool of yourself. You are validating her decision to give you the boot. You are annoying her and making her angry, probably why she mentioned your ex after you, yet again, asked her out. You physically assaulted this woman, you are lucky she didn't call the cops. What are you going to do when she calls you to arrange kids' time, and tells you her new boyfriend is doing the pick up? You need to take the advice that has been given multiple times on this thread, because you are carrying on like an immature prat and in the process ruining what little chance (probably none, in truth) that you ever had of reconciling with her. What do u recommend then? Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 For a start, pay attention to Einstein's definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No contact, strict no contact, and no kid dates, because you can't help yourself - see above. Read this thread and all the advice in it again. And get some help with the anger issues, and no more violence against women. Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 For a start, pay attention to Einstein's definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No contact, strict no contact, and no kid dates, because you can't help yourself - see above. Read this thread and all the advice in it again. And get some help with the anger issues, and no more violence against women. Bro I didn't really hit her. I just shouted at her and little push nothing special really. She just used it as excuse to get rid of me because she was smothered. I cant stop kids seeing each other man. One my ex called me immature. She said: "so your kid can't have friends unless u are f-u-cking their mom's?". Also the mother of my kid said it's totally fine and I should let them continue seeing each other. So I will need to see her to exchange kids, how to act:"hi and bye"? Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Bro I didn't really hit her. I just shouted at her and little push nothing special really. It was special to her. Link to comment
RicBoy Posted January 13, 2020 Author Share Posted January 13, 2020 It was special to her. I could be wrong here but for me she reached out because she was curious to see if I was with the mother of my kid, if I had changed or if I had moved on because she knew that the mother of my kid was at my place for Christmas and as soon as she realized that I'm still into her she just backed off again and started complaining again I haven't changed that I'm still the same Link to comment
MaybeThen Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Come on now, she reached out after weeks of NC to ask if u have a book of hers that she knows I never touched it. U really think she gave a about a book.. Also then she told me if she had any interest on me like 1% she wouldn't get back to me because she knew the mother of my kid slept at my place 2 weeks. You’re assigning significance to things with no significance. That sort of thought process is what lends to to your abusive behavior: assigning your own selfish desires to someone else’s actions in spite of them explaining their reasons to you, and then harassing them and becoming aggressive when it doesn’t go your (made up) way. Link to comment
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