g/f has drug problem

[Sn0man]

Thanks DN for that post. I'm hurting, but havijng the police show up at my door was the last straw. I give up ojn her. I CANNOT HELP HER. I will miss her, but I have no choice; she has to go.

[avman]

It is hard to accept reality sometimes. When you love someone you can see the good that's inside of them even if they themselves cannot see it. But you have to realize that you have needs too. And someone on drugs isn't going to be able to meet your needs.

 

She belongs to the devil dust now. And she's going to stay there until she wises up and asks for help. Obviously she isn't ready. So you're right - you can't help her. Take heart in what ilse and DN have said. It's nothing about you.

 

You found love, and thats a great thing. You'll find it again my friend. Give yourself some time to heal up from this. Cut this girl off. No contact - remember? Lay off the alcohol tonight. You don't want to get into that habit.

 

We'll be praying for you. But I know you are going to come out of this just fine.

[RayKay]

If she was willing to choose drugs over you, then this was for the best, even if you don't feel it yet. She is being the childish one - maybe it is her nature, or maybe the drugs have warped her brain's thinking ability to realize that.

 

In any case...you CANNOT be the one to rescue her from the choices she had made in her life. She probably like many, needs to hit rock bottom before she willingly takes steps to recovery.

 

Don't feel like you were bad for falling for her - she simply was not honest about whom she was and you cannot help that - she presented what she wanted to present to you, the face she knew you would accept, and then took for granted you would be a doormat and stay around when you found out the real her...

 

Grieve, but be sure to pick yourself up again and move on forward. You ARE better off without her, if she can choose drugs over you, she does not deserve you.

[Sn0man]

Again; thank you all. You helped me through a really rough night.

 

I probably have the worst hangover I have ever had today, but I made it through the night!!

 

I guess now I know the side of this girl that I never knew. Last night, I was so pissed off that I hooked up my subs (told the upstairs neighbours I wouldn't because I have a 600 watt amp) and cranked the tunes, just to give them a piece of there own medicine for keeping me up all night the night before. My ex comes downstairs and starts calling me a freaki, froot loop, and idiot, still high of course.

 

Then her drug dealer comes downstairs, in nothing but his boxers and stands right beside her (wonder what that means) and starts calling me on to fight. I told him where to go and how to get there. Of course, now "i'm" the bad guy again.

 

So I spent the whole night fighting with my ex and upstairs neighbours. What a waste of life they all are. Called my landlord and said that i'm out of here right away. I don't need to be around this crap.

 

As for the ex; you are all correct. she chose drugs over me, shes a coke head. Not only that, but she is apparently a *edited* and a coke *edited* too. I don't need her, nor do I want to have anything to do with her or any of them, for that matter.

 

Thank you again all for your kind words and good advice.

[Sn0man]

Update on this issue:

 

I foolishly ended up getting back together with this clown for a little while. As Iknew would happene, it didn't work out.

 

This girl is such a coke head and so fargone withg the drugs and alcohol that I finallyjust gave up and called it quits. She can go to hell, because she isnt going anywhere else.

 

Ciao

[DN]

Well, at least you won't make that mistake again - better luck next time. Hope you get over her quickly.

[RayKay]

Well.....at least going back to her showed you exactly how terrible the situation is and won't have you with "what-ifs" for the next year....

 

Glad you left again

 

Good luck on healing Snoman...

[hurtwou]

ok...this girl has problems.....you needa get out of there....unless she goes and gets help, which I dout she will.....

[someguy69]

I can't believe this. My g/f moved in with me recently. We have mutual friends who live upstairs. Twice in the last two weeks she hasn't come home at night, and I wake up to hear them still partying and drinking...and doing coke. I told her last time I wouldn't put up with it, yet she continues to do this knowing full well that I will give her the boot. She has nowhere else to go, and I love her, and want this relationship to work out, but I can't live like this. What the hell do I do?!

 

How long and how often has she been using coke?

 

Coke is a hard drug (like nicotine and alcohol), and is difficult for some people to use it recreationally without developing a problem. Since its use is illegal in this part of the world, there are less examples of responsible use for people to observe and learn from, unlike alcohol, which while being a dangerous hard drug, enough people use it responsibly (along with public education on responsible alcohol behavior) that alcohol abuse is kept to a small proportion of alcohol use.

[LoveOneAnother]

My boyfriend is the same way. (At least you know where she is) Dont count on her to change, she only will if SHE wants to.

[michelemybell]

You are right Colleen--Drug addicts dont change because you want them to. Despite how much you love your boyfriend Colleen, I urge you to leave him as well. You need to start thinking about yourself here and your future. You can be a friend still, but it is useless to have a relationship with a druggie.