Spawn Posted December 15, 2019 Share Posted December 15, 2019 Its been 3 days of No contact , realized the moment she sent many abusive messages she is not the one for me. I wish her well without telling her about it. I hope she is at peace and can find happiness with her ex. I dont want her in my life anymore am scarred, feel abused want to stay away for life. This person became someone whom i dont want to know anymore. Life sucks there is lot of pain now. Hope i can get through this. I want to be cared and loved just like i can to that special one I long for that day , i hope i can survive this pain and can love again. Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 15, 2019 Author Share Posted December 15, 2019 Went with one of old exs yesterday for a movie we had a good watch. We lost our baby while being together for 10 years. She is a sweet person, we always respected each other, but the loss was unbearable to both of us and we broke up. Sundays are so boring sitting at home doing nothing all friends busy with their families and am at home alone doing nothing Will try out some new recipe for cooking catch up on something new on Netflix. Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 15, 2019 Author Share Posted December 15, 2019 I feel i lost a part of me after being abused so much by her the feeling of being kind, motivated, humility have all seem to have vanished from me, self worth and esteem all have taken a hit, this definitely is a sign she was not the right person for me. Nobody should treat us like this nobody and whoever does should not be part of our life... Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 15, 2019 Author Share Posted December 15, 2019 Just watched seven pounds after long time....cried a lot in the end inspirational kind feel at peace in the end. Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 16, 2019 Author Share Posted December 16, 2019 Called in sick today lot of fatigue and tiredness need to focus and get out of a feeling of rut Tomorrow will get my ass off to office no matter what Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 17, 2019 Author Share Posted December 17, 2019 back to office told my manager was down with health didn't talk about the real cause of panic attack, met few colleagues Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 18, 2019 Author Share Posted December 18, 2019 Skipped another office party cause of her being there...damn life Link to comment
Spawn Posted December 25, 2019 Author Share Posted December 25, 2019 Feeling lonely utterly miserable having a bad sad day today Link to comment
Spawn Posted February 14, 2020 Author Share Posted February 14, 2020 i finally found a therapist, spoke to her and my situation in brief, more to follow in our first appointment coming up in 2 weeks. She told me not to lie to her about anything and am like i need to have faith in her, the trust, etc to speak up. Although very afraid and anxious am still going to meet her. she said she will give me assignments and i need to ensure i complete them, the sound of it itself makes me scary but i will need to be honest here. Link to comment
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