I'm not sure if this is considered being sexually taken advantage of

[Maria2157]

I'm glad I did too! For a long time, I wasn't sure but now that I know it wasn't in my head and it was in fact an assault, I can move on with my life. I've been through much worse and I know that I can overcome this, I already have. I think the "not knowing" part was what was eating me up inside. I've come to terms and accepted that it happened and that I can't change it. I've cut him, his family, and anyone who wasn't good for me out of my life. Since doing that, I'm much happier, I didn't realize how much they drained me until after everything was done. I want to thank everyone who posted and gave their opinion, it meant a lot to me!

[Cherylyn]

I find some of these comments problematic, especially by Cherylyn. Sorry Cherylyn I don't think that a woman simply just can't have male friends and can't be alone with men at all. Of course it's good to be careful and for example not just go to someone's place that you don't really know.

 

But if a woman has had a male friend for a while and it was just friendship, then why is she considered naive if she was spending time alone with this friend? Most men are not predators and will not do this to a woman. I've had some male friends for many years and my partner doesn't mind if I have male friends. Sometimes I was alone with them for whatever reason and they have never done anything to me. Maybe some male friends expressed romantic or sexual interest in me, but when I told them I wasn't interested, they didn't touch me.

 

Saying "No, I don't want to do anything" should be more than enough to make that person stop. Just because she didn't physically push or fight the male friend off doesn't mean he had the go ahead to sexually assault her. People shouldn't just act like animals and just because that person wasn't fighting them, to keep sexually touching them. When you hear a "no" that means no.

 

Sexual consent needs to be given either verbally or by the person willingly engaging in sex. When the person said: "No, I don't want it", there was no consent.

 

Victim blaming is saying the woman deserved it because she wasn't fighting the guy, she was alone with a guy, or had a shorter skirt. She didn't deserve it in any of those cases. Sometimes in summer I might see a guy in a park with no shirt on because it's not. Does that mean he "asked for it" and I can go up to that guy and start sexually touching him?

 

We should be allowed to be alone with a friend because that person is supposed to be our FRIEND. By all means they can express that they like us or want sex but they shouldn't be doing anything when they were told "no".

 

I fully support having male friends. All I'm saying is be prepared for any scenario whether it's without incident or otherwise. And, saying, "No, I don't want to do anything" is not always a guarantee that the guy will actually listen and take the honorable route. Even though no means no, unfortunately, when it's 1:1 anything can happen good, bad or indifferent.

 

Be alone with a male friend because many times a male friend has a different perspective and philosophy regarding life, dynamics, advice, relationships, etc. In a perfect world, you can trust every male friend. I hope it works in your favor.