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I've been with my girlfriend for over a year & a half now. We connect so perfectly & both love each other.


Just recently we thought about splitting up, we moved in with each other pretty much straight away & we felt like we had rushed into things. She felt like she was living her life for me. We decided to take a step back & just move out.


There's been another guy in the background pretty much our whole relationship, someone she used to have very strong feelings for & has continued to stay in touch with.


Recently I've felt as though I'm not enough for her & that she is still in love with this guy. We have spoken about him & how uncomfortable it makes me feel but she has never really stepped back communication.


Lately due to a number of reasons I've been feeling like I'm not enough for her. I just don't know what to do I love her so much & want to be with her. She is showing less & less affection to a point where it's got me questioning her love for me. She says she loves me, can't picture her life without me etc but I just don't know.


I don't want to end it but if she is still in love with this guy like I fear I feel like it's the right thing to do. I'm so lost right now.

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Both of you sound dependent on each other. Is there some history of this? Relying too heavily on each other? I love my husband for example but I can picture a life without him. It doesn't produce a fall to pieces effect. Perhaps it's time to reconnect with yourself and find out whether you've both been nurturing a relationship where you've been relying on each other or the idea of permanence in your relationship. Nothing in life is permanent. I'd be cautious about grandiose ideas about 'ever afters' and life without a person.


When a person is showing you how disinterested he/she is, it's usually a good idea to look at the actions rather than the words. Work through any inconsistencies and figure out what you need or what makes you happy in a relationship.

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