Splitting rent if your partner stays at your place a few times a week

[Npgirl09]

Thank you to everyone who responded and had provided their opinion, I appreciate all insight.

I look at my situation a bit differently thanks to the advice provided.

[Wiseman2]

No. You simply do not invite him over and act like a free bed and breakfast + sex. Let him grow up, be responsible, get a second job/part time work/whatever and get his own place. Stop letting him do the guest-to-live in parasite creep. Just put an end to his staying there and making your place the love nest headquarters.

 

Either make him a co-tenant and make him pay for 1/2 of everything or do not let him stay there. You can not charge a guest who has no rights rent. On the other hand start keeping your eyes open to parasitic and cheap behaviors such as mooching off both you and his mommy. You are becoming mommy 2.0. Just stop.

He lives at his mom’s house. I have my own 1 bedroom apartment.

 

Ever since I got my apartment last year he had been staying at my place a few times a week, and then it turned to some weeks at a time.

[Batya33]

No. You simply do not invite him over and act like a free bed and breakfast + sex. Let him grow up, be responsible, get a second job/part time work/whatever and get his own place. Stop letting him do the guest-to-live in parasite creep. Just put an end to his staying there and making your place the love nest headquarters.

 

Either make him a co-tenant and make him pay for 1/2 of everything or do not let him stay there. You can not charge a guest who has no rights rent. On the other hand start keeping your eyes open to parasitic and cheap behaviors such as mooching off both you and his mommy. You are becoming mommy 2.0. Just stop.

 

It's not free bed and breakfast- it's dating. She wants to share a bed and he is at his parents. If she wants to play hard ball then she can suggest that he make reservations at a hotel he pays for (I assume she can't stay at his). My husband treated me to dinner many many times when we were dating (he still tries to but now it's basically "our money" but it's a lovely gesture!) - I agree with the others who pointed out the benefits to her.

 

Certainly if he moves out of his parents and shows up at her door expecting to live there 24/7 he's a roommate as well as a boyfriend.

[IAmFCA]

I bought toiletries that my bf likes to help him feel welcome -- doesn't that feel nicer?

 

The real issue is that you don't trust him to be responsible for himself, and that may be valid. Can't tell.

 

You can control your position by offering less. If you don't want to pay or drive, then don't. Never extend yourself into resentment zone. Stop before you get to that point.

[Batya33]

I bought toiletries that my bf likes to help him feel welcome -- doesn't that feel nicer?

 

The real issue is that you don't trust him to be responsible for himself, and that may be valid. Can't tell.

 

You can control your position by offering less. If you don't want to pay or drive, then don't. Never extend yourself into resentment zone. Stop before you get to that point.

 

Yes all this and IamfCa raises a good point - that this might be more than the surface "should he pay rent" -do you resent that he lives at home rent-free or lose respect for him so it intensifies the feeling that he should step up to the plate and pay rent even though he doesn't live with you?