PLease help me.. I feel so empty!

[misery12]

Okay, here is my story.. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. but the thing is.. we haven't even kissed since the beginning of Feb. That's 3 months!! not even a peck!! I don't know what's wrong at all, I don't want to just lean over at school and kiss her, because we're more casual, and don't really do that.. I want to be like the other couples that kiss at the end of each day.

We only hang out like once during the school week, and like once on average during the weekend. I wouldn't mind hanging out with her every single day, but I know that she probably wouldn't want that, so that's fine.

But, the kissing thing, I have no idea what we haven't, and I feel that I should talk to her about this.. but I don't know what to say, what are some things I can say.. because if she says "hey"

do I say "hey, why don't we kiss anymore"

but then after that, she might think that's all i've been thinking about, and might feel pressured into kissing me more, and that might make her feel uncomfortable, it's so confusing, I just want her to be open with me, and us kiss like everyday after school when we say goodbye.. all we do is meet up in the lobby, and talk for like 1 minute, then she heads to her bus.. she doesn't really invite me over that much either.. and I don't want to invite myself over, and it's been bugging me too.. I think I might have a big conversation with her about all my feelings.. just to get them out.. but wont she think that im being too emotional?? and wondering why im suddenly being like this?? I know what I have to do now, but I need help on what to say to her.. to get my point through, and without making her feel completely awkward.. I see my sister and her boyfriend of 9 months or so.. casually kissing, and other couples too.. and we don't do that

when she comes over, we just go on the trampoline or something, because she loves doing that.. and sometimes we snuggle up on the couch and play board games.. but thats when other people are over too.. I give her massages a lot too.. and I know friends don't usually do that.. so I know we're more.. but how come we don't get too intimate.. its been 3 months since i've felt her lips, and I feel empty, and broken inside, I just need some guidance on what to say to her.. I know that if she takes my honesty for granted, that she isn't right for me.. but I know that she will love hearing it.. but I just need to word it right.. what can I say.. please help!!

[Iceman26]

You can do one of four things.

 

1) Talk to her about it.

 

2) Make a move and kiss her.

 

3) Do nothing and continue to be frustrated.

 

4) Dump her and move on to someone that is more aggressive and will kiss you.

[misery12]

Number 3 and 4 are out of the question.

I would never leave her without a good excuse, and this is not one.. I'd talk to her about it, before I'd even consider it. Even then, I probably wouldn't leave her..

Also, I cannot go on like this, I feel so envious of others.. it's eating me alive.. I think I might talk to her about it later..

but if you were in my exact position, what would you say to your girlfriend, without making it really weird for her.. because if I ask her why we don't kiss.. or just hang out alone that much.. she might feel pressured into doing those things more, and might make her uncomfortable.. what would you say to her??

please help

[Iceman26]

I would ask her "why we dont kiss anymore". Simple, easy, gets your point directly accross.

 

Just because you tell her you want to kiss her, or wonder why you dont kiss, doesnt mean she will be pressured. You simply have to ask casual, in a non threatening way.

 

You can always ask her to do things, just the two of you.

 

Give it a shot dude, and tell me what happens.

[misery12]

Alright, I guess I am just scared what her reaction will be.. and that it might change things.. and then I think to myself.. if I dont change things, I will continue to feel this way.. I guess I have to take the risk

 

can't blame a guy for trying

[Iceman26]

if I dont change things, I will continue to feel this way.. I guess I have to take the risk

 

can't blame a guy for trying

 

 

Smart thinking dude, that is exactly the kind of attitude you need to have! If you cant talk about the problems in your relationship, then you dont have a relationship.

[sara-pezzini]

maybe she is insecure,thinks she is a bad kisser or something like that,maybe she sits at home thinking,"why doesn't he kiss me anymore...I want to kiss him but don't know if he will like that"so I suggest that indeed you talk to her,you can even bring it up as a kind of joke,or when you snuggle just kiss her!!goodluck!!

[misery12]

hey, thanks for the reply

each one makes me feel better and gives me more guidance

 

I just have to know what to say.. not exactly.. but just the idea.. you mentioned joking about it.. so she's more comfortable..

I think this is a good idea, so she knows that I am thinking about it.. but I am not forcing it on her.

If you were in my position, what would the words be, that you would say to her??

[passions1]

When you get a chance & look into her eyes & say I love your smile Then see how her body language is whether she responds with a smile as well or compliments you as well. Then you can brush her face, cheeks with your fingers & lean in to give her a kiss.

[sara-pezzini]

reading your story again I really think that she has the same doubts and fears as you,because girls often want guys to take the initiative,kiss them first,say i love you first and so on...so that they don't have to show their feelings first and be "safe"like that...maybe you can watch a romantic movie with her,just the two of you,and then put your arm around her,pull her closer and if she responds to that,kiss her,because I'm almost convinced that she is waiting for it too!!!or next time you're with her when you are saying goodbye kiss her on the cheek,to get that bit of intimacy between you two again...and you can always do what I did,ask her if you can kiss her

[sara-pezzini]

well I have a joking way of asking for you,not a very good joke but when you're with her and you accidently hurt your finger for example,then say if she would give a kiss on it to make it better...if she doesn't then that's fine but if she does kiss your finger,then smile and say how much that helps,and that you have pain here too(point to your lips)and that maybe she can fix that too.....I know not the greatest line in the world but who knows!!

[tabytha]

eeep.

 

to be honest I avoided kissing my 1st boyfriend for months. I Hated saying goodbye to him everyday because i had to kiss him. I felt really guilty because he was a nice guy but.... he was a really BAD kisser!

 

I wasn't overly confident in my own ability, him being my first boyfriend, but i was pretty sure his lips should be on mine, not all over and around, like he was trying to suck them in. And thought lips needed to be moist but not leaving my lips and the whole area around feeling like i've been licked by a dog.

 

I guess he was trying to be passionate, but an open mouth kiss over a shy semi open mouth doesn't seem to work.

 

when you do kiss her, don't get self conscious, but be thoughful of your technique. if she's open mouth, match her. If she's closed mouth, match her. Don't try to swallow her in your enthusiasm.

 

And ... don't be afraid to make the move as others have suggested. if she's not ready for whatever reason she should/would let you know.

[misery12]

We have kissed before.. in the first month or so.. we kissed many times.. well not many, but we had about 5 different make out sessions,

and one time when she was leaving, she turned around, and pecked me... and that made me feel really good.

But now when she leaves, she just says okay ill talk to you tonight, or something like that.

so it's not that we haven't kissed before, and she is a great kisser, and she's told me I am too, I keep myself controlled, and I don't just let loose. So I don't think it's that, I just think that it's that we haven't had the greatest chances to kiss.. yet she was over here last weekend for 9 hours! all day.. with me, her, my friend, and her friend.. but we didn't kiss.. I just feel that I am back at square one in the kissing section, and it kind of feels that it's our first kiss again... I just realized this too.. I haven't kissed her since the night I asked her out.. which was Jan. 28th.

So we actually havent kissed since we've started dating!

Im such an idiot.. what kind of guy doesnt kiss his girlfriend?? I am going to talk to her about this tonight.. But I dont know what to say when she comes online! Pleaaaassee help.. I dont need help how to kiss, but what to say to her, to let her realize how long it's been..but I dont want to make it seem that it's all I think about either..

thanks

[tabytha]

Are there always people around? You say she was over for 9 hours but there were others there too.

 

Maybe she's not as excited about PDA (Public displays of Affection) as other people. Can you take her out on a nice date alone? Away from school and friends and family. I'm not talking about lovers lane.

 

Somewhere public but private (Hows that for an oxymoron?) Like the quiet corner of a small restraunt, or a shaded area of a public park.

 

Set up a nice, safe romantic situation and see what happens. You sound like a adorably sweet open and honest guy and I couldn't imagine anyone feeling threatened by you, but we women can be drama queens in our own heads at times, even if we seem normal to the outside world.