Am I reading way too much into this or is he not bothered?

[katrina1980]

Understandable, I feel those things too, I think everyone does to a certain extent in these precarious early stages. There is always going to be at least some uncertainty unless you're both the type to spill your feels very early on, which I would not recommend! (I've done it myself and regretted it, which is why I don't recommend now).

 

I've learned to live with a little uncertainty, I'm okay with it because no matter which way it goes, how it turns out, I KNOW I will be okay either way.

 

I don't get too attached to the outcome, I simply enjoy it for what it is, and take it day by day. I try to not stress about where it will be tomorrow, will it last, will he ghost, etc.

 

IF that happens, I deal with it then. I KNOW I will be okay if it does. Hurt and disappointed, of course! But I'm resilient and will get over it.

 

That's my attitude, and it has really served me well, dating should be fun!

[Wiseman2]

An ounce of prevention is worth an pound of cure. You want random non exclusive sex because you "don't need labels", but then you're pouncing on every word or non word for fear of being ghosted? Slow down and date and become exclusive before sex so you pace yourself rather than fool yourself. Trying to be "the cool girl" is not cool if you are hurting and being ghosted.

I don’t have any desire to label things I am happy with the way they were. But I do have a fear of been just ghosted or slow faded as this has happened before and it hurt a lot.

[katrina1980]

@bluecastle, we posted at the exact same time with essentially the same advice (different wording).

 

How uncanny is that?

[bluecastle]

@bluecastle, we posted at the exact same time with essentially the same advice (different wording).

 

How uncanny is that?

 

Brain exploding emoji.

[katrina1980]

 

Trying to be "the cool girl" is not cool if you are hurting and being ghosted.

 

I wrote the book on being the "cool girl," -- so true Wiseman!

[bluecastle]

Ah, the "cool girl" syndrome. And the "cool boy" syndrome. So tough because most "cool girls" and "cool boys" are actually just cool girls and cool boys, albeit filled with fears and feelings desperate for a safe place to wander and roam.

[katrina1980]

Ah, the "cool girl" syndrome. And the "cool boy" syndrome. So tough because most "cool girls" and "cool boys" are actually just cool girls and cool boys, albeit filled with fears and feelings desperate for a safe place to wander and roam.

 

Yup, I would say more than most even, which is why we need to compensate by being so cool!

 

It's the vulnerability; I've gotten much better at dealing with it though (the fear), learning to balance, and being more honest (with myself mostly and then with others).

[katrina1980]

 

There is almost some version of this, at this point, in all new relationships. Heck, I'm in one myself that I may post about, but I'm awfully (annoyingly) shy about exposing myself.

 

When I first started posting on these forums (I posted on one quite regularly for a couple of years before joining ENA), I felt that way too.

 

But then my ex and I broke up after a LTR and I really needed support so created a thread. Once I did, it became much easier to "expose" myself in that way.

 

And it turned out to be a positive thing (we are all anonymous after all), and basically haven't been able to stop since!

 

If you're struggling with an issue (anything really), gaining the support and perspective of others (even virtual strangers although after almost 2.5 years I don't feel like we're strangers anymore) has helped me so much!

 

And I've learned so much too from the various opinions and different perspectives.

 

Just something to consider, you give great advice to others, let us pay you back and help you (or try to).

 

Not a push BC, more like encouragement. Of course, in the end you need to do what you're comfortable with.

 

EDIT: Apologies Sugarloaf for the quick hijack. Back to topic! :)

[kamurj]

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