Dating that ended. Hopefully insightful.

[diddums]

Hey!

 

I guess this is a bit of a clear mindset moment for me, and maybe someone can take from it.

But as well someone may be able to shed some light to me, as I'm having that lost feeling like I've had a minor break up haha.

 

So long story short, I have been dating this girl for around 4-6 weeks.

We spoke everyday text, phone etc and there is no doubt we were both incredibly into each other, she didn't hide it.

Had 2 dates sadly in all this time, due to medical problems on her behalf that can't be helped. This has led to cancellations or things not going to plan due to the hospital etc.

I thought the day would come where she may say she would stop dating because of it, but of course you just go with the flow at the time.

 

So the day came of a date.

But the dreaded essay text came, explaining she has made the sad decision to not date while she's in this state medically, and didn't want to keep doing this to me.

Gutted! Here's me adoring this girl and feeling like some kid all excited for his date. So I messaged to see if she was okay for me to call.

 

I called, in this time we had some laughs and jokes as always, usual flirty stuff discussing the situation as well.

But from this is all I can feel is lost in the back of my head, that I know after this call I'm gonna have to stop talking.

So I said I will stop messaging and take some time for myself, give her space while she gets on with getting better.

She thanked me for everything so far, saying I could message or call whenever I wanted.

But mostly it was nice to hear both of us finally be incredibly open about our feelings, hoping this is something that won't take long to resolve for her.

 

So I feel lost now, during the time I did talk to other women, but none came close and I guess the amount of time invested in this has caught up to upset me in a way.

I know some guys may have got annoyed by now, but honestly I feel like you have to show support and be level headed.

 

The first impression is as important as the last.

I know my last impression that she will remember, is gonna be of someone that even in a miserable moment made her laugh and feel at ease that she could talk to me in the future.

Something that could be applied to during a break up or terrible moment that you may be dreading deep down or even angry about.

People want to be around those that make them happy, if I had shown anger or even begged her to not do this I'm sure it would just push her away.

 

But now I guess I pick myself up a bit, keep on dating and working on myself?

No point waiting around, but one can always hope right haha.

 

Thanks for taking the time to read though!

[SGH]

It's a shame she put a stop to your dating if it was going as well as you said. Without revealing too much detail, what are her medical issues? If they are serious, I could understand her feeling that way. You could be a supportive friend to her in her time of need IF you can emotionally handle it without pressuring her. She may come around down the road. Don't wait on her, though.

[diddums]

Yeah it's a huge shame but she clearly had a deep think about it by the essay I got haha.

Agonizing pain in her leg, chronic as it's lasted before I knew her but she's now been put forward to the correct specialists, she just wants to focus on that for the moment.

 

I'm sure I will speak to her in little bits just gonna take a break from that, will continue to support her though who knows what the future holds but even now I'm not gonna wait around in case.

[Rollin808]

Seems weird to me. If you guys are "incredibly into each other", why would something like that cause her to not want to date you? If it was me and I had chronic pain, I'd want someone that I was really into to spend time with as it'd make me feel better. Granted, I'd have reservations that I'd be a burden on the other person, but if that person seemed to genuinely want to be with me knowing the situation, it'd make me appreciate them even more.

[limichelle]

Awe OP I hate to say but it doesn't sound like she's as interested as you. Nothing stops someone truly interested in seeing someone no matter what condition they are in. My mom ran a Cancer Support group years ago and one woman started dating a guy even though she was going through treatments for her Cancer. I'm sorry op I would let this one go.

[diddums]

Thanks for the advice I have thought that she may just not be interested, but the only reasons I think it's not that, is that she's always been eager to arrange or even the day before it all had expressed she was excited, to the point that when I didn't reply for nearly a day she thought I had second thoughts or lost interest and was glad I hadn't haha.

 

I believe part of it is family pressure on her to make an effort in getting it looked into that she mentioned, and partly her being young and in her words not wanting to keep me waiting on a text message to ruin a date and move it, I guess she felt more of a burden than someone fun at 22. Even the last call she expressed her interest towards me as a person and physically. She's very upfront and honest, something we both liked about each other.

 

So I dunno it's so difficult because I want to give that space and move on whatever happens, happens etc. I already have a date lined up with a girl I was talking to a few weeks ago but it feels wrong.

A weird part of me wants to call in some cliche way after some time to think and really want to just say to her, look I don't care if it means spending time at a bloody hospital together or at home. I like you enough to do that. Of course this could be terrible but that other part of me just doesn't care as it would feel like an ending to it all either way. Past me is laughing at my terrible mindset right now haha usually I'm quite level headed