Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Yesterday I found out something thats a bit concerning and I want to discuss with him but i dunno how.. He had asked me.if I had twitter and I said I dont, because I dont have any indeed. Today I found his twitter account, scrolled down there was a photo of his house. I .zoomed in to see background On the shelves it looked like not very clear, something like wedding photos of him(??) with a bride next to him On a piece of paper i saw something like an anniversary announcement, not clear again but two names written clear his name and a female name The thing is how do i ask him about this That photo was dated March one month before we met We are dating one month and a half and he has mentioned of me going to his house without clear invite...But he insists coming over to mine which he will do on Thu supposedly. Help! Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 im in Uk so these records are not that available. Im very worried and concerned now. How do i ask him?? Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 no he told me he is on twitter and he asked me if i had. I dont have so i didnt ask. He doesnt have FB as I dont do. I have done a mini background check myself but couldnt find anything suspicious I need to hire someone to do a full background check I technically snooped to his twitter. The images in the background were not clear, but the names were clear. He also had told me before we met when we were talking about families and stuff that his mother comes over from Cyprus every few months to stay with him. The thing is how do i go about it?? Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 he is 32 . he told me he is single and that he had relationship two years ago. so do you think i should tell him straight of what i saw?? Link to comment
Doosha Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Stop playing childish games and ask him. You are early at your relationship and I understand being afraid to ask, but how else are you going to build trust? Tell him that after asking you about Twitter you made a profile to see what it is about, and you saw what you saw on his profile. Dont come from an accusing place, just ask. Or simply tell him you want to come to his place. It does sound like he might be married, but it can be few other things too... Maybe he was married briefly but got divorced? Maybe you didnt see it right and its a picture of him with a friend or a cousin from her wedding? Until you have the facts dont assume anything. And when you ask you will see by his reaction if he is lying. Ask him about it face to face. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 The thing is... On a piece of paper i saw something like an anniversary announcement, not clear again but two names written clear his name and a female name His name was pretty clear on it. Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 it’s not a bad thing that you looked at his Twitter accounts. It’s not like you were snooping through his phone or anything. Just say “I was looking at your Twitter account I saw the picture of you and some announcement, just let me know if you’re married or not because I’m not really into dating married guys.” Unless you are, then in that case, a conversation is not needed. I’m kidding . Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 ye i suppose but he ddidnt say what his account was . he asked me if i had twitter to follow me and i said i didnt have and the convo ended there. I found the account by myself and zoomed in the photo to see these things Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 yes i can but i zoomed in to see these things Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Did you do a search on the woman's name as well? Meanwhile I wouldn't meet at your house. If you want to keep seeing him, keep it public. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 the thing is, he had mentioned me goign to his house but it was not an invite. more like a future reference. is not it a red flag that he insisted to come to mine??? I only saw a female name no last names. I found no woman associated to him online Link to comment
SherrySher Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Simply ask. You are protecting yourself. Next time you see him say..I was wondering if you had ever been married before, and see what he says. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 no i dont have his address. insisted that he came to my house to meet me. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 i think i will hire someone professional Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 i know his first and last name and his previous address which he told me he was living elsewhere before. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Sorry but that is ridiculous after dating 45 days. He's not your husband. Just end it since he won't invite you to his place... That alone is sufficient reason. Does this suspicion/detective mindset come from your past? It makes no sense to snoop and obsess this much after a few dates.I need to hire someone to do a full background check. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 ye but its early days. i think its good to gather info beforehand I found where he lives Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 If you have to hunt that much, just end it. It seems you are over invested. Did you sleep together before ever getting invited to his place? Wait until you know someone a bit and see what their lives are about before getting this over invested. For example, did you ever have the exclusivity talk? Why is he at your place all the time but never invites you to his? Next time, do not invite guys over to have sex until you've both visited each others homes and know more about each other. It's a lot better than becoming a Fatal Attraction case and talking about PIs after a few dates. Learn to date with smarts and you'll learn to trust yourself.I found where he lives Link to comment
j.man Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 "So, are you married?" "No." Not exactly checkmate. No real point in asking. I'd have simply invited myself to his place. Nothing like "LET ME SEE IT." Simply, "Hey, I'd love to see your place. I could grab a pizza and we could have a date night there some night." It's a bit forward, but it's a natural dating move that serves its own non-cynical purpose. It's nothing that would put a reasonable guy off, and it's better than sitting on your thumbs, going through Instagram photos, or worse, dumping however much money into full background checks or PIs. No, you shouldn't be giving away your trust at the first sight of a handsome face, but you also shouldn't be distrusting them, either. If you're catching yourself out like this, whether it's due to insecurities of your own or legit red flags of his, it's a good sign you should cut your losses sooner than later, not add a monetary figure to them. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 "So, are you married?" "No." Not exactly checkmate. No real point in asking. I'd have simply invited myself to his place. Nothing like "LET ME SEE IT." Simply, "Hey, I'd love to see your place. I could grab a pizza and we could have a date night there some night." It's a bit forward, but it's a natural dating move that serves its own non-cynical purpose. It's nothing that would put a reasonable guy off, and it's better than sitting on your thumbs, going through Instagram photos, or worse, dumping however much money into full background checks or PIs. No, you shouldn't be giving away your trust at the first sight of a handsome face, but you also shouldn't be distrusting them, either. If you're catching yourself out like this, whether it's due to insecurities of your own or legit red flags of his, it's a good sign you should cut your losses sooner than later, not add a monetary figure to them. well we didnt sleep together. but he did insist to come to my place if i see he doesnt invite me i will end it ah no need to, now. i found where he lives Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 i will def pay a "visit" Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 yes i can but i zoomed in to see these things And?! He would probably zoom in as well. It’s so not a big deal. Just ask him! Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 i think i will hire someone professional What?! You’ve known him for a month. You’re going to pay a professional to snoop on some guy you barely know? Ask him! And if you can’t ask him, end it. Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 No i will. and I will pay a "visit" to his place Link to comment
Chrys31 Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 no just see who lives there Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.