Have I helped him get over me faster, or has he just not processed it yet.

[Idontevenkno]

Since my break up, I've on many occasions embarrassing confessed my undying love to my ex on many occasions, went in and out of no contact repeatedly, went from calm and friendly to angry to begging and I can't live without you mode.

 

He was upset for the first couple of days but since then has seemed unphased by the whole thing and made it clear that there is no hope for us now or in the future.

 

I think by me telling him how hurt I am and that I wanted it to work I've probably helped him get over me..but then another part of me thinks that maybe I've just stalled his need to work though his emotions because he knows he could get me back at any point.

 

I'm adamant not to contact him again and really don't think I will now, so now my brain is wandering to will he care I'm not contacting him, will he even notice, or will be relieved.

 

I know it's individual to each person because obviously if he didn't care then he still won't care now, or maybe he has worked through his feelings but just not been open about it.

 

I know I shouldn't care, but I'm still here posting so I do.

[SGH]

Well, I'm not going to lie to you - you acting like your life ended after he broke up with you and acting erratically did not hurt him getting over you. Breakups are sadly a huge power struggle, and you just placed yourself six feet below him. It's okay, though. The whole race to see who gets over who first is childish and in reality, the outcome doesn't matter. What matters is that you stop trying to win him back immediately, and focus on yourself. Go NC and get him off your social media if you haven't already. You have to stop worrying about he's handling the breakup and what he feels - believe me, it's the worst trap to get into and it's codependent at best.

 

My guess is even with your behavior, assuming you only begged for a short period of time, he's likely not fully over the relationship ending yet. That absolutely doesn't mean that if you stop trying to win him back that he's going to come chasing after you, though. Again, don't worry about what his reaction to you going NC. NC is not meant to manipulate or prompt a reconciliation. It's true purpose is to give you a chance to rebuild your life without your ex and heal!

 

Good luck with feeling better about everything.

[DanZee]

Look, to be blunt, your boyfriend doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. You've broken up. You've been posting for weeks, but it's not going to change the facts. He lost interest in you and he focused on himself. It may have been the way you were acting, but now you're acting like the proverbial Crazy Ex-Girlfriend now. Follow the ENA advice to go No Contact. Stop bothering him. Give yourself some time to heal. And when you feel more confident in yourself, try another relationship again. Begging and crying and groveling just isn't going to get him back. Move on.