Is He is stressed and acting distant or ........?

[Lilly26]

Hi all,

 

So I have been seeing this guy for the past 5 months. Thou it hasn’t been the easiest ride considering his hectic work, travel schedule, even a minor health issue, we have managed to keep our relationship together. We enjoy each other’s presence a lot and I thou it’s a short while, am really attracted to him on all levels and I think he is too.

 

Now, here is the catch! For the past 1 week his work and a personal matter has been very hectic let’s just put it this way he has travelled to 3 countries in 1 week, so clearly I haven’t seen him.

And my concern is eventhou we have had similar stressful situations before maybe not this bad, we were msging each other at least in the middle relatively often but this week he has been colder than before. He does msg me once in a while saying he is frustrated and stressed and he “hopes I am well”. In fact he says this statement in almost every msg encounter. “Hope u are well “ To which I always reply something positive.

 

At first I was trying to be cool and cheer him up a little saying things like everything will be ok and etc... since I’ve seen him cold, I have retreated.

 

Now we have a pre-booked dinner plan and he just msgd me from the country he is in asking me the timing confirmation since the following day he will fly to another country. Seriously he is worst than the pilots. This will be the 1st Time I’m seeing him after this chaotic week.

 

My question is, is he too stressed out to be in a relationship and how do I act so not to sabotage us until these ways pass? How can I talk to him without sounding naggy as I don’t want him to slip away but I also don’t wanna look passive.

 

Thank u in advance

L.

[Wiseman2]

Wait until you see each other in person and see how that goes. Do you think he has time for the kind of relationship you want?

Now we have a pre-booked dinner plan and he just msgd me from the country he is in asking me the timing confirmation since the following day he will fly to another country. Seriously he is worst than the pilots. This will be the 1st Time I’m seeing him after this chaotic week.

[Lilly26]

Honestly the way it looks like now, not really but he is a great man, I want to give it a chance but I’m a bit scared so I’m taking a risk with my heart; hoping for the best

[DancingFool]

I mean....he is having a rough week and you are taking this way too personally and making way too many presumptions. If you need someone who is always around and has a 9-5 job where he can text you all day and see you all night, that's perfectly fine, it just means this guy is not for you. He can't maintain the kind of constant contact and closeness that you seem to need.

 

I'd say you need to chill out, go enjoy the date and be your normal self. Don't create a problem where none exists. If he wants to vent about what is stressing him, listen. If he wants to focus on you and have fun and relax, well, be that and have fun.

[1tym]

I don't have his schedule. Though i have very long days majority of the time. If he is taking what little time to be with you then hr wants you be with you.

 

If you have flown before, jet lag is horrible. To be in that many countries in a short amount of time you are exhausted. Have you known 13 hours away?

 

Only thing on my mind after those flights are sleep and rest. I rarely even pick up the phone. But for a girl that I really like, I will always have some time for her even if its only a few seconds to send her a text message.

 

So yea if you want the relationship I wouldn't stress too much over this. Doesn't sound like because he met someone else. Frankly the way you put it, I would be surprised if he had a good continuous sleep in a week.

[Lilly26]

Some updates, he messages me today apologizing for not texting and that he is very stressed and in a bad mood. I replied I’m here for you, I can understand and I’m sure you will sort it out. He didn’t reply. What is going on???

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he was giving his excuses for not being in contact and retreating further. Not looking for more contact, support or therapy. Don't be a cheerleader. Don't accept shabby treatment and lame excuses.

he messages me today apologizing for not texting and that he is very stressed and in a bad mood. I replied I’m here for you, I can understand and I’m sure you will sort it out. He didn’t reply. What is going on???

[abitbroken]

If you have had only one week where he wasn't in regular contact, give him a break. if you said he was stressed with a personal mattter - does that mean a relative died or something? He has been to several countries in one week. give the guy a break and don't guilt him into being responsible for your feelings. Go out with friends. and when he circles back after he has had some sleep, go from there. If he was just sitting around at home - you would have reason to be uneasy. But i bet he didn't even know if he was coming or going.