Need some input please.

[lovelilacs31]

Hi. I don't understand why my bf does not stand up for me against his brother. Some background information to explain how his brother treats me. I live with my boyfriend and our roommates are 2 of his brothers. The one brother has a girlfriend who is here pretty much full-time. So the one roommate has been accusing me of doing malicious things to him for 5-6 years. Such as he said I made my dog poop right next to his sliding glass door, which I did not. He has left notes saying that I am wasteful by not doing a full load of laundry(his girlfriends do small loads). Him/or his gf always leaveblaundry in the dryer for long periods and don't leave a basket. I have to find a safe place to put his clean laundry, and this has happened since the beginning. His new girlfriend started doing laundry and frequently left it in, and I had trouble trying to get mine done. And in January of this year I took a load of his out and put it on the couch, his cat pooped on it. And the brother accused me of making my dog do that. Then in February one week,his girlfriend did laundry on 5 days (doing a total of 8 loads) and she left laundry in the dryer for 1 1/2 days. Needless to say I had difficulty getting my laundry done. The next week she was doing laundry and it was just sitting in the washer, her car was gone so I moved it to the dryer. She left a note asking me not to touch their clothes. I was pissed and my bf agreed they were causing the problem. She did another load the next morning and I was trying to get laundry done too. I took a picture to prove they do small loads too and also she does a lot of laundry. She saw me and they got really upset and left a really nasty, angry note. They pointed the finger at me and said things like "every single time" and claimed that they do laundry once maybe twice a week. His brother asked that I stay away from him and his gf, and not touch any of his belongings.My bf agreed the note was unnecessary, untrue, and they were causing us difficulty getting laundry done

We made a shedule so we had our own laundry days. My bf said "Don't even look over at the laundry machines when she is doing laundry." Also he told me not to clean the house on their laundry day because she would be in the house (he wants me to avoid her).

 

.I was so upset. The brother also accused me of spying on them. They thought that when I walked through the kitchen when his gf was cooking I was watching her. I did not even know what to say when my bf told me, I could not even wrap my head around someone thinking that way.That is what I deal with him. Now about my boyfriend. My boyfriend would tell his brother facts to try to prove to

him I wasn't doing these things. However he never once told his brother it wasn't ok to leave and note like that for me, or accuse me of the other various things. I am just so

hurt he didn't tell his brother to stop

acting like that towards me.

[DanZee]

It sounds like sibling rivalry going on. Are these younger brothers to your boyfriend? They sound immature along with this girlfriend. Maybe find a laundromat nearby and do your laundry there and bypass them completely. And make plans with your boyfriend to find your own apartment.

[Wiseman2]

Who is paying rent there and who isn't? Who is contributing to utilities, household products, etc and who isn't? Is the rent split 4 ways between you, your bf and the other 2? How long have you lived there? Can you move back home to your parents or start looking at other places with roommates you choose and roommates you get along with? Is this a dormitory or group home setting?

[ThatwasThen]

Hi. I don't understand why my bf does not stand up for me against his brother. Some background information to explain how his brother treats me.

 

I live with my boyfriend and our roommates are 2 of his brothers. The one brother has a girlfriend who is here pretty much full-time. So the one roommate has been accusing me of doing malicious things to him for 5-6 years. Such as he said I made my dog poop right next to his sliding glass door, which I did not.

 

He has left notes saying that I am wasteful by not doing a full load of laundry(his girlfriends do small loads). Him/or his gf always leaveblaundry in the dryer for long periods and don't leave a basket. I have to find a safe place to put his clean laundry, and this has happened since the beginning. His new girlfriend started doing laundry and frequently left it in, and I had trouble trying to get mine done. And in January of this year I took a load of his out and put it on the couch, his cat pooped on it. And the brother accused me of making my dog do that.

 

Then in February one week,his girlfriend did laundry on 5 days (doing a total of 8 loads) and she left laundry in the dryer for 1 1/2 days. Needless to say I had difficulty getting my laundry done. The next week she was doing laundry and it was just sitting in the washer, her car was gone so I moved it to the dryer. She left a note asking me not to touch their clothes. I was pissed and my bf agreed they were causing the problem. She did another load the next morning and I was trying to get laundry done too. I took a picture to prove they do small loads too and also she does a lot of laundry. She saw me and they got really upset and left a really nasty, angry note. They pointed the finger at me and said things like "every single time" and claimed that they do laundry once maybe twice a week.

 

His brother asked that I stay away from him and his gf, and not touch any of his belongings.My bf agreed the note was unnecessary, untrue, and they were causing us difficulty getting laundry done

We made a shedule so we had our own laundry days. My bf said "Don't even look over at the laundry machines when she is doing laundry." Also he told me not to clean the house on their laundry day because she would be in the house (he wants me to avoid her).

 

.I was so upset. The brother also accused me of spying on them. They thought that when I walked through the kitchen when his gf was cooking I was watching her. I did not even know what to say when my bf told me, I could not even wrap my head around someone thinking that way.That is what I deal with him.

 

Now about my boyfriend.

My boyfriend would tell his brother facts to try to prove to

him I wasn't doing these things. However he never once told his brother it wasn't ok to leave and note like that for me, or accuse me of the other various things. I am just so

hurt he didn't tell his brother to stop

acting like that towards me.

 

Do you and this other girl help with the rent?

His cat poops on clothes and your dog poops inside?

Why don't you move out and get your own place where you don't have to live with the likes of what you describe? I know that is what I'd be doing. I'd certainly ask the boyfriend to join me and if he didn't, I'd go anyway.

 

Your boyfriend is just trying to keep the peace between two women who apparently are in one giant P'ing contest with one another. I think that both you gals are in the wrong. Her for what appears to be deliberately leaving things in the dryer and you for moving it without her consent. You could have nicely told her that you would need the machines tomorrow and would it be alright if you left it in a basket if she didn't get a chance to remove it.

 

The best thing was to prepare the laundry schedule which neither you nor her violate.

 

... get out of there.

[lovelilacs31]

Hi. Thank you for the responses. My boyfriend and I pay rent, and so does his brother. The brother's girlfriend does not pay rent. She just stays all the time with him. The brother is younger than my boyfriend. It is a house and I have lived here for 10 years, the brother has lived in this house for 14 years. My boyfriend has lived here for 12 years. And the brother's girlfriend has been with him for 2 years, but started doing things around the house for a year. No neither of my dogs have pooped inside. When his cat pooped inside he wrongly accused me of deliberately making my dog poop on his stuff.

[Wiseman2]

Only the people who pay rent should be doing laundry, using up supplies, taking up this much space, etc. Obviously your bf doesn't want problems with his brother so doesn't care what his gf does there. He doesn't want to damage the deal with his brother over catfights. However you should insist she start paying rent if she is virtually living there. Why don't you and your bf get your own place if it gets this intolerable?

My boyfriend and I pay rent, and so does his brother. It is a house and I have lived here for 10 years, the brother has lived in this house for 14 years. My boyfriend has lived here for 12 years.

[Minikimini]

Hi. Thank you for the responses. My boyfriend and I pay rent, and so does his brother. The brother's girlfriend does not pay rent. She just stays all the time with him. The brother is younger than my boyfriend. It is a house and I have lived here for 10 years, the brother has lived in this house for 14 years. My boyfriend has lived here for 12 years. And the brother's girlfriend has been with him for 2 years, but started doing things around the house for a year. No neither of my dogs have pooped inside. When his cat pooped inside he wrongly accused me of deliberately making my dog poop on his stuff.

 

Can you break out of the lease? I'd do it and find someplace else to live and a new boyfriend while I was at it. Basically, you're living with his family, even though you, your boyfriend and his brother pay rent--they're obviously thinking that it's their family home.

 

Here's a newsflash: the brother's girlfriend isn't a legal tenant there and as such has no say so about anything going on with the laundry facilities. If she needs to do laundry, she can take it to her house, her mom's house or the laundromat.

 

The laundry facilities have been weaponized by the brother and his girlfriend--and are using it as a power struggle between you and them. And from what you've written, your boyfriend isn't too arsed about snatching a knot in his brother's behind over his treatment of you, so don't expect him to defend you to someone he's obviously intimidated by.