my husbands snapchatting an ex

[Lionheart11]

A few weeks back my husband was no longer my top friend on Snapchat, I don’t place much weight on that but HE always has and constantly asks me for snapchat pictures etc, which I hate doing as hate taking selfies etc.

 

When I was no longer his best friend on snap chat I joked about it and asked who was his and he responded with “Krystal” I asked who that was and he told me an old friend he chats to only on snap chat, I probed a bit and realised it was a girl he dated a few years before we met. I felt weird about it but he just told me about how they chat about her moving interstate with her boyfriend and it went back and forth for a while which is why it knocked me out of the spot. I just said “can you please message on regular number, it’s weird you only sent snap chats” and I think he agreed or whatever we changed subject as I wasn’t mad or whatever.

 

Today I’m knocked off again and was like , for real? I asked him who had knocked me out again and he said Krystal. I was mad, but didn’t go off... i just said “can you please snap her less and communicate via phone like normal messages” he kept asking what my reason was and I said I felt uncomfortable about their communication and as his wife could he make that change. He kept pushing for a reason I don’t want him snap chatting and I couldn’t think of a reason other than it doesn’t feel right, he kept asking what’s the difference and I said snap chats disappear and texts don’t. He then fired up that I don’t trust him. I got angry by then, I have never displayed distrust or snooped or tried to shut down relationships with other women etc but as his wife I don’t feel honoured and I feel uncomfortable.

 

He refused to validate my concern and said I was just being distrustful. I’m so upset.

 

I am not upset about the snapping but the reaction is so poor.

 

I’ve never thought he cheats or that’s what this was. I just feel disrespected he can’t just say “sure ill ask her to send messages instead”

 

I’m no afraid of infidelity, if someone cheats I can’t stop them! I don’t want to control his friendships either I just wanted to be heard not have it spat in my face.

[Clio]

Imo, your feelings of feeling disrespected are valid. If it was the other way around, and you were snapchating an ex like that he wouldn't like it either. Have you pointed this out to him? How would he feel if it were the other way around?

[Lionheart11]

Thanks, exactly how I see it. We spoke about it and he kept saying “fine I’ll stop but I don’t agree with you” it’s insanity! He keeps twisting my motives and telling me it’s solely because I don’t trust him, I understand it can be twisted into appearing that way but it’s just a standard thing and a respect thing. He seems to think that he shouldn’t have to change relationships with female friends because he’s married and I’ve never asked him to as such, but heck! It’s a marriage and respectful marriages include some altering of relationships. I certainly wouldn’t allow a male friend he’s never met to blow up my phone, id have no reason to as I don’t see that as healthy.

[AutumnBorn]

I'd tell him this and this alone: Happy wife, happy life. Your choice. Choose carefully, love.

[MissCanuck]

How long have they been in contact, OP?