Relationship independence

[Smokey14151]

So many of you know about my relationship through my post. I will let you guys know everything is good and we are working together and getting along really well now. So the main point of this post is to ask what can I do to make myself more independent? My relationship is dawning on a new part and we are no longer, um how do I put this in the first stage we are kind of in more of a mutual getting alone, having fun, being together, but no longer the intense everyday love duby stuff. We are at the point when there’s a mutual trust that neither of us is going anywhere soon. So I guess my question is how can I deal with my almost puppy love feelings that I get, so I can be stronger and more independent in my relationship? How can I better myself and become a sturdier partner? I want to be a metaphorical rock to hold my girlfriend up and help her achieve her goals. I know that I falling deeply in love with her because every time I’m with her I feel a connection with her on a deep level and all my worries don’t matter so much anymore. (Maybe that’s the puppy love side of me talking) final question so what does it mean when she farts infront of you not like a loud one but maybe silent but deadly? Is it nothing is it at test if so how should I react?

[rosephase]

How old are both of you? How long have you been together?

 

What actions are you doing that make you feel like you are being dependent?

[Smokey14151]

How old are both of you? How long have you been together?

 

What actions are you doing that make you feel like you are being dependent?

 

We are teenagers both 17 I’m turning 18 soon.

 

3 months

 

I guess it’s not really actions it’s just feelings. I have a lot of anxiety and it gets the best of me a lot. I’ll worry about little things that shouldn’t matter. I’ve thought about if she broke up with me and I know it would hit me hard. Sometimes I just feel like I need her in my life. I feel like this makes me a bit to clingy. Honestly I feel like I need her and her attention. I want to be able to love her and not need her if you get what I’m saying I want to stand by her as an equal, not a puppy lover.

[rosephase]

You can't be independent... not really. You are in high school. You live at home. You are deep in limerence:

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

 

Your dealing with the falling in love drugs and they can screw with your head. Make you insecure. Make you dependent, clingy and anxious.

 

If you want to feel more independent keep up with your hobbies. Keep up with your friends. Keep up with work and school. And get older, get a job, support yourself, move out, figure out who you are and what you want... you know... normal growing up stuff.

[Wiseman2]

Focus on quitting weed and not being spaced out, paranoid and locked in your head in a weed-haze. Ask your parents to take you to a doctor for a checkup for depression/neurological issues. Stop using her as yet another escape from reality. What exactly is wrong at home that you need to escape from? Are your parents abusive or alcoholics/addicts?

 

Focus on getting healthy, getting in shape, joining clubs sports and groups at school. Focus on good grades and what you want to do when you graduate. Focus on turning your life around. Don't do this, it's clingy, controlling and suffocating:

I want to be a metaphorical rock to hold my girlfriend up and help her achieve her goals.

[Smokey14151]

Focus on quitting weed and not being spaced out, paranoid and locked in your head in a weed-haze. Ask your parents to take you to a doctor for a checkup for depression/neurological issues. Stop using her as yet another escape from reality. What exactly is wrong at home that you need to escape from? Are your parents abusive or alcoholics/addicts?

 

Focus on getting healthy, getting in shape, joining clubs sports and groups at school. Focus on good grades and what you want to do when you graduate. Focus on turning your life around. Don't do this, it's clingy, controlling and suffocating:

 

Just somthing you guys should know. I have quit weed been clean for months now. I’m dealing with my home problem through consoling - that thing I said it’s not clingy It’s my opinion of what love is 2 people working together so both can achieve their goals and be happy.

[Wiseman2]

Ok good you quit the weed. What's happening at home?

I’m dealing with my home problem through consoling.

[Smokey14151]

Ok good you quit the weed. What's happening at home?

Nothing right now just a strange situation with my stepmom. It’s what happened in my past more my parents divorce. I can still tell it gets to me deep down so I’ve decided to get consoling to help me deal with my feelings about it.