I cheated on my boyfriend with mine and my older brothers best friend while drunk HELP

[BritneyMelton]

Me and my boyfriend havent been together ling maybe a few months. Me and two of my best guy friends and one of them is my brothers best friend to we decided we were gonna hang out and drink. we had drank to much and my older brothers/ my bestfriend had kissed me i did think about my boyfriend and he has a girlfriend so we both are in the same situation right now. The first time we kissed that night it was short cause are other friend was there but he soon went to sleep cause he felt sick. what we did when are friend left we talked for a while and he kissed me again noted that he aslo kissed me the first time not like this makes it better but i didnt make the first move he did but i didnt stop it. This time we where more than just kissing we moved on to doing other things well during this time he said he loved me im not sure if he meant it but i had brought up that my older brother would hate him and beat the crap outta him he said he didnt care. I also brought up his girlfriend not even remebering i had a boyfriend and he said he didnt care about her he wanted me. Im honestly not sure what to take of this we where drunk can someone please give me advice and help me figure out what i need to say to him and help me understand how he feels cause its driving me crazy nog knowing. I know what we did was not right and i feel terrible but j cant take it back please help.

[DanZee]

I would advise you to act like nothing happened. See if he says anything to you about it. If he doesn't say anything then you don't say anything either. I'm sure that if he does say something, it'll be to forget about what happened as well.

[j.man]

Well, that is quite a hole you've dug yourself there. To be quite honest, what your brother's friend did or didn't mean really is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now.

 

Typically, I'm all about not offloading your guilt onto your partner and essentially destroying their sense of trust on top of the bare act of betraying them, but you've tangled together all kinds of webs, and it's most likely out of your control as to whether your boyfriend can go without learning of this. Your brother's friend might tell him. He might confess to his girlfriend, who might tell him. He might confess to your brother, who might tell him. I think it's best your boyfriend learn it directly from you, and sooner than later. And if he doesn't dump you, do him the favor of ending it yourself. This obvious wasn't a "hehe, oops" drunken moment if your top priority, or really any priority, is figuring out how your brother's friend feels.

 

As far as your brother and his friend goes, I'd try my best to let the situation go. He knows you cheated on your boyfriend, so he's got no real reason to respect you as a serious romantic interest. For that matter, you shouldn't have any reason to do so for him, either. While this friend is 100% responsible as far as cheating on his girlfriend goes, were I in your brother's shoes, I'd be fuming at the lack of respect for the boundaries of my social circles. Ideally, I'd simply rather not know (and it really wouldn't be my business to know), but if I found out, you'd definitely be cut out of pretty much every aspect of my external social life.

 

I'm sorry to say, but sometimes consequences are unavoidable when we screw up badly enough. I don't think there's a playbook out there to help you out in navigating this.

[melancholy123]

You need to cool it with the drinking.