Someone please help need advice!

[Thehun]

So I just back with my ex alex a few weeks ago. I have noticed well not noticed. I could here her conversating about how she is only with me for a place to stay and that as soon as she finds another place she was leaving. I just wish someone could let me the right thing to do let her stay and know that she is only being with me for the short term and never had any intentions to make this relationship work. I feel so crushed I don’t even know what to say to her...I have let her say here because I thought we were back together and every time with out fail she drinks she brings a dude over this last dude she brought touched me and I felt violated and I asked for it to stop he did but then it became my fault I went in the bathroom when she said it is me. Not him and how She says do u even think I like women come on. She said I was crazy and she couldn’t wait to get the f out of here she said Me thinks is number 1 truth she says to the dude that truth is your my number 1 as soon as u leave this chick I will move right in with you and it just broke my heart in 2 I provide to the house hold and she out right said she is using me till a better orptenty comes along. I don’t want to throw her out but I can’t contue this know everything she said what do I do?

[Lost 73]

To be honest that's up to you. If it was me I would not let someone be homeless. But at the same time I been in her shoes. meaning I was the one that had to leave the residence after a break up and had to go with friends. If it is really hurting you I wouldn't invest anymore of yourself into her. But I would have a conversation with her she might be telling someone something to get them off her back and it might not be true. Communication is important talk with her

[Hollyj]

Kick her out. Don't understand why you allow this. She is not coming back, and is using you.

 

This is so disrespectful. You need to instill some personal boundaries and self respect.

 

You are not her family, and are not responsible for her. Let her sponge off of someone else.

[Thehun]

Thank you for your advice boundaries. But we are even broken up yet she is doing this for a place to stay honestly I’ll let her stay until she gets a place but I don’t even know how to bring up I heard what u said ..... how do u even start....

[Hollyj]

she is bringing men in and you are not broken up? Is she paying rent?

 

You are missing the big picture here. Tell her to go and stay with family or friends.

 

Why are you allowing this?

[Thehun]

No rent I pay for every she works but contributes nothing I stayed because I at this point used to love her but that was it I heard every nasty thing while in the bathroom. I feel bad because all she will have is her moms house who is doing stuff like drinking all day among a serious drug everyday I dont want her back in that toxic environment but she plane out said she is only here acting like we are together cause it’s all she has and that as soon as she has another place she is leaving

[Lost 73]

I would talk with the next chance you get about that topic what you heard

[Hollyj]

C'mon. You pay for her, she disrespects you, and is bringing in a parade of men into your home.

 

When are you going to love yourself. If you continue to tolerate this, you have no one else to blame, but yourself. Stop being and a doormat, and allowing her to use you.

 

She is not your problem. If she is an adult, why can't she support herself! Time for her to grow up!

 

I suggest you look up co dependence. You have established a very unhealthy dynamic.

[Hollyj]

I would talk with the next chance you get about that topic what you heard

 

Talk about what? This is self explanatory.

 

"She says do u even think I like women come on. She said I was crazy and she couldn’t wait to get the f out of here she said Me thinks is number 1 truth she says to the dude that truth is your my number 1 as soon as u leave this chick I will move right in with you "

[Liraele]

She's bringing in men and they are touching YOU without your consent??

 

That's what I got from this. She can find somewhere else to go. Tell her so.

[Lost 73]

She's bringing in men and they are touching YOU without your consent??

 

That's what I got from this. She can find somewhere else to go. Tell her so.

 

missed that, DUDE KICK HER OUT. I wish I read the whole thing. She's bringing dudes there and they touching you. OUT on the street she needs to be gone that is not a safe environment for you. This is where really bad things happen

[Hollyj]

missed that, DUDE KICK HER OUT. I wish I read the whole thing. She's bringing dudes there and they touching you. OUT on the street she needs to be gone that is not a safe environment for you. This is where really bad things happen

What she said about her is just as bad!

[Pleasedonot5]

Well, I wouldn't tolerate disrespect. She can stay with a friend while she figures her new place. Kick her out today.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. Tell her you will go to social services with her and get her set up with food/housing, employment/career training assistance, councelling/rehab, etc. You are actually holding her back by letting her stay. You are holding on for your own reasons and not helping her or yourself. You are not a one-man welfare agency.

all she will have is her moms house who is doing stuff like drinking all day among a serious drug everyday I dont want her back in that toxic environment

[Hollyj]

Unfortunately the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. Tell her you will go to social services with her and get her set up with food/housing, employment/career training assistance, councelling/rehab, etc. You are actually holding her back by letting her stay. You are holding on for your own reasons and not helping her or yourself. You are not a one-man welfare agency.

 

Sorry, but she does not need her to accompany her to social services. She is an adult.

 

You are enabling someone who does not give a damn and is using you.

[wolflovesmoon]

Seems like you are trying to find excuses for her behaviors, and maybe deep down you wish this never happened and that you guys don’t break up, you have all the signs you need to break it up yourself and kick her out, but you seem to ignore them.

You are setting your self up for an ugly breakup or worse.

[Lost 73]

Seems like you are trying to find excuses for her behaviors, and maybe deep down you wish this never happened and that you guys don’t break up, you have all the signs you need to break it up yourself and kick her out, but you seem to ignore them.

You are setting your self up for an ugly breakup or worse.

 

At this rate it is Ugly its the even worse that concerns me. This is the type of thing you read in news people getting hurt. Love is a STRONG emotion tends to make us insane at times and with all this it really concerns me of what could happen.

[Pleasedonot5]

I fully agree with Holly on this one. Don't tolerate that disrespect, kick her out; she's an adult and she'll be fine.