Is he too shy to talk to me or is he not into me at all?

[lisajoey]

Hey guys, I need your help because I am so confused right now and don’t know what to think. So, last Friday I went out with some friends and we met a couple of guys. The next day I began talking to one of them casually (let’s call him Greg) even though I was interested in his friend (let’s call him Dan). When Greg noticed that I was kinda into Dan, he gave me his snapchat and told me to add him because apparently he was into me as well. (Note: that night Dan and I danced together and flirted a little as well so we weren’t total strangers).

 

I’m a pretty shy person so I longly hesitated but I finally decided to add him because life’s too short. He added me back a couple of minutes later and followed me of Instagram as well (I hadn’t given my instagram to any of them, so he searched it by himself).

I followed him back and we talked the whole day. It was so fun talking to him because he was genuinely interested in the person that I am and what I do in life. He was so respectful and never tried to ask me inappropriate questions and for the first time in a long time, I actually thought this could go somewhere.

 

That day ended and I honestly thought we’d talk again the following days but that didn’t happen. I’m not the type of person who needs to talk to the guy every single day, but I really thought we’d talk again after the type of conversations we’d had. I was in a delicate situation because the night we had met them, Dan’s friend (so Greg) told me we should all hang out on next Friday. On one hand, I didn’t want to ask Dan if that was still on because I didn’t know if he still wanted to talk to me and on the other hand I didn’t want to ask Greg (the one who proposed it) if we were still seeing each other because I was afraid I’d pass for a b*tch who switches between the two of them (which I am not).

 

Friday finally arrives and I decide to anyway text Greg since he’s the one who initially came up with those plans. I asked him if we were still all going to hang out and he answered with “aren’t you seeing Dan?”. I was in a very uncomfortable position when I read that because that message was basically a confirmation of my doubts and fears, which was that they’d see me as a b*tch. I told him that by “we” I meant Dan as well obviously, and the only reason I asked him and not Dan was because he was the one who came up with those plans.

 

Now here’s where everything gets confusing. Basically all of this was a big misunderstanding. Dan had told Greg and his friends that he and I were hanging out on Friday during the day so when Greg asked me if I was seeing Dan, he genuinely meant seeing him physically. I was so confused because I hadn’t talked to Dan ever since that day and he never mentioned anything about seeing each other. In the end we did not hang out on Friday night so Greg suggested we’d all hang out on Saturday instead (which is tomorrow) but I can’t make it.

 

What does this mean? Does Dan like me or not? My best friend told me he lied to his friends by telling them only the two of us were going to hang out because he likes me and wants to make them believe we hang out but is too shy to ask or talk to me. I honestly don’t know what to think about this nor why he doesn’t talk to me or send me anything directly. I do know he’s a little shy but in the end, so am I. I honestly feel weird talking to Greg instead in order to get information but on the other hand I feel insecure texting Dan first. I really like this guy and would love to get to know him better but I have no clue what he thinks of me or if he even is into me. Also, since I can’t make it tomorrow, does that mean my chances of seeing him are totally gone? I’d really appreciate hearing your thoughts and advice. Thank you in advance! (We’re both 19 and the rest of his friends are 21/22. Also, we live about 20 minutes away from each other).

[and so it goes]

This is the most complicated ROM-COM ever!

 

Possible theory: Greg, being a good guy, doesn't want to muscle in on Dan's "girl". But Dan, doesn't know what he wants, but he knows he doesn't want Greg limiting his choices either.

 

I think I've got that right....

[DanZee]

Whoa! I thought I was reading a story about 16-year olds.

 

You're 19. You have a cell phone and you have fingers. Text Dan and ask him if you can meet up next week. You're not a mind reader. You don't know why he didn't text you this past week. Maybe he's sitting around trying to read your mind too.

 

You can end all the drama either by texting him or calling him. You've already made contact with him. You're already kind of friends. Ask him if you can meet him for coffee or dinner or something. You don't have to do it in a group setting. Get to know him one-on-one.

[Blue Dreamer]

Are you too shy to talk to him, considering you are obviously into him?

[Wiseman2]

Relied in your identical thread : I want to see him again but I feel like we’re both afraid of sending the first text