Phillyfreak93 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 My girlfriend broke up a 3 year relationship with me 2 days ago and frankly I saw it coming. It's hard to explain, but you can just tell from the look in a person's eyes that says the passion is gone. Within the first 2 years of our relationship, we were all over eachother and once we hit our 2.5 year mark, she started living independently bc she was comfortable and trusted me enough to do so. She said she neglected her friends and wanted to catch up with them now that she had the opportunity. We had opposite schedules that prevented us from spending time together, but it was as though she wasn't even trying to make time for me. Her best friend was her priority, and to give you a little backstory to avoid the cheating assumptions... She lived with her best friend for 15 years and never dated or did anything. They're like sisters. Her best friend brought her in after her dad died and mom abandoned her. Her best friend is also dating someone and is asexual.... I worked from 7-3 and she worked 3-10. By the time she came home, we spent at most, 2 hours together a day but that quickly decreased as she spent more and more of her time talking and hanging out with her best friend. She said that this is what she did before we dated, that it's her normal lifestyle. She'd play video games until the crack of dawn and wouldn't crawl into bed with me until about 2 hours before my alarm went off for work and our sex life went out the door. I started panicking and that's when the paranoia/anxiety/depression rolled in with full force. We fought tooth and nail night after night about the same thing for months. I don't want to delve into the details but basically, the fighting got so bad that she broke up with me because I did some messed up things that caused her to lose trust in me. I will say it has nothing to do with cheating or abuse. She said I was very destructive, manipulative, and spiteful and it drew her away. She said that she lost her feelings, her trust, and only cares about me now as a friend. She said we have to start over as friends to rebuild trust in order to reform a relationship but my gut tells me that's not going to happen. She said that I need to get myself together mentally bc I wasn't myself anymore and that I need to stop depending on her for happiness. She said I don't have my own life because of it and that my insecurities/self esteem/and self confidence issues projected on to her. The sucky part is that we still live together until our lease is up in 6 months but I have a feeling she'll be mostly sleeping at her best friend's since she's always welcome there. I haven't seen her and probably won't for another week bc my brother is in town for a week. He's visiting from PA and we have a one bedroom apartment. I'm so torn. I'm sad but also relieved. I've barely cried and I'm not sure what that means. I don't know if she is officially done or is insinuating that she'll come back around when I get myself together but she said she believes I will though. Maybe we aren't compatible. Obviously her natural lifestyle was not meeting my needs from a relationship standpoint. I just want feedback on this. Link to comment
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