I am in a tough spot here, I made the choice to dip my pen in company ink.....

[MattFloyd]

I am in a tough spot here, I made the choice to dip my pen in company ink...date my coworker. I usually would refrain from doing so but everything about her pulled me to her. We had a great relationship for 4months.. I seen her in her worst times and in her best times. She has very bad anxiety from time to time where basically her day goes to ruin. Skipping to the break up, it hit me out of the blue. She just said "We need to talk". Yup.. dun dun dun.... lol. Anyways she basically said, "I have so much going on in my life right now..plus my anxiety.. the stress of a relationship is just to much for me right now I need to work on myself and fix my anxiety..". I tried explaining to her, that I am all for her trying to better herself and I am here for her if she needs me, and if this journey gets rough in her trying to address her issues.... I will support her! that is what I believe a relationship is about...just being there for one another. I did not beg or plead, I avoided this route cause my last relationship it was a mess, plus my research and experience is to never do this.. it will just make things worse. Anyways back to what I was saying she stuck to her guns and I said.. its a shame... I really thought this could of been something so much more.. and that you're giving up on this with no effort, but none the less... do what you have to do, and I left. Now to us working together.. basically I been giving her space.. only talking to her when I need to... (its hard considering we bump into each other or see each other literally 20+ times a day). She began to get bitter for some reason like I did something to hurt her but I did no such thing.. I just need a bit of time to think... and seeing her was rough but I kept my head on my shoulders and left her be as did she but in a more bitter form. Basically this form is her pretended I wasn't there...laughing with coworkers ext. Fast forward two days... she removes me off all social media.. and at work.. just seems oh so much more bitter towards me.. this whole time after the break up I been No-Contact or in my case Limited-Contact... not so much to get her back but to give us both space and to reflect on this whole thing and maybe if I have ...to just move on.. but its just a shame... I'm a fighter for relationships! I work on problems.. noone seems to do this anymore. Anywaaaaaaaays what should I do guys...

Any approach to salvage this relationship? or should I just keep on this game of ignoring one another at work and try and move on with are lives... a bad thought for me but I can learn to deal with it... I hope.

[milly007]

When I first read your post, OP, the first thought that occurred to me is that she's maybe upset that you appear to be dealing with the break-up as well as you are. Sounds weird, right? But this is the first thought that came to mind.

 

I wouldn't feed into the drama and ask what's wrong. Just be civil, as you have been, and carry on.

 

She broke up with you. If she has something to say, she can approach you and discuss whatever's on her mind.

 

Until then, and if it ever happens, I'd continue giving her the space she's asked for.

 

And whatever you do, always take the high road. If you cross paths, smile, say hello and continue on your merry way. Don't deliberately ignore.

 

I realize there isn't much you can do if she chooses to ignore you, but just don't stoop to her level.

 

The high road always prevails (although it can be hard at times).

[MattFloyd]

I'll try with the high road.. Thanks! I want her to figure out her problems and be happy.. I am trying to shoo away any selfish feelings towards the situation.. but there is a part of me that still wants to be with her.. funny things is lol.. I been through something like this but much worse.. I should be prepared for something like this... but she was a genuine very loving person.. I never met someone so caring towards others... but yeah high road.. gotta keep on the high road.. lol

[Keyman]

"I have so much going on in my life right now..plus my anxiety.. the stress of a relationship is just to much for me right now I need to work on myself and fix my anxiety..". e.

 

When someone says this to you it has nothing to do with what is going on with their life, their anxiety or wanting to work on themselves. It is totally about not wanting to be in a relationship with you and trying to find an easy way to let you down.

 

Fighting for a relationship is something that should happen after years together. But after 4 months, she has realised that she does not want this relationship, there is no fighting possible here.

 

It was fun while it lasted. Walk away. If you have to dip your pen in the company inkwell, make sure it is not with someone who you will see regularly.

[DanZee]

Since you see her 20x a day, are you at least saying hi to her or are you ignoring her? That may be why she's ignoring you. When a work relationship breaks up you at least try to be professional to each other, and that includes saying hi or asking how it's going. The No Contact rule would apply to any talk about dating or relationships. Girls, in particular, don't like losing friends, so I'm hoping you at least make the effort to say hi to her.

[lenovo]

I've made a vowel never to get involved with any woman who has anxiety issues! Its always used as an excuse to break up and always seems to come out of the blue! Then they move onto the next person within a couple of months after saying i need to work on myself.....its all bull don't listen to it! Any person who genuinely wanted to be with you, or, if it got that far, loves you, would talk to you before just walking away and giving up! Been there myself and quite honestly f her dude walk away!