lbax0 Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 My ex and I have been together for 15 months. We recently broke up on Jan 10 when I broke up with him because I was angry at him. At that time, he he wanted to work through our problems, but I didn't want to at the time. We have had arguments before where I block him for a short amount of time ~15 minutes, and he messages me on another platform to get me back. I know it wasn't healthy, but I thought that this argument would have made him realize he needed to treat me better. I wanted him to apologize for making me feel like he didn't care (I am a college student, and he recently dropped out of school. He moved to my college to be with me, and to begin schooling again. I tried supporting him/influence him to pursue higher education. However, he didn't like it down there and quit. I didn't understand why he would want to move back home when everyday since we've met, we were basically together whenever we could be.) Anyway, I broke up with him, and he was still trying to get back with me, but I went on a date instead to try to get over him because the school semester was going to start soon and I wanted to find someone to help me move on. This date was on the same day that he wanted to go on our own date. He got mad that I went on a date and said that I wasn't loyal even though we broke up. A few days after that, I went back to school and he sent me texts about how he missed me and a voicemail telling me that he loves me and doesn't feel like we are broken up (later says he did that because he was lonely and said that he wanted out of the relationship 6 months before we actually broke up because of some issues we had starting ~8 months into it. I started yelling and screaming at him for small things, and I know this is my problem that I need to fix. The yelling and screaming got worse throughout the next few months, mainly because I felt as though he did not care about me as much anymore, although he claims that he hadn't changed how he treats me. I haven't screamed at him since November but he's been saying he didn't see a future with me around that time) I don't believe it because when I broke up with him, he said "this is why I didn't get you anything for our anniversary or christmas because I knew you'd do this") I ignored his texts and voicemail. After that, he had become more upset and gave me the cold shoulder because I went on the date. He still continued to talk to me though. A couple of weeks later, he came down to my school because he needed to pick up some things from his place. He wanted to see me, and I wanted to see him, but I was with my friends and I asked him to wait for me but he didn't. He left, and I got upset. I tried calling him to talk to him but he said he was busy at the gym because "gains are loyal". I know he was hurt and I had my chance to get back with him, but I was also hurt and I blocked him. This time, he didn't try to resolve anything with me. After 2 days, I unblocked him and told him I missed him, he told me he didn't want me anymore. He said he's happier without me, and that I made him feel trapped. He said he only can remember the bad things and doesn't think that I love him. A week later, he tells me that he's seeing a new girl. "I have a new bae now, keep me added on snapchat and you'll see her someday" he said. He jokes around a lot, so I thought he was talking about something else, but a few days later, I see on his snapchat story a picture of the girl. Turns out he started talking to her around the time that he came down to my school to pick up his stuff. He told me that he already told her that he loves her, and knows its real love because she "supports him" in things that I didn't. He wanted to buy a new car, and I didn't support him because he had no savings and I wanted him to save for our future. I supported him to go back to school, and he told me he regrets it. I didn't think the things he wanted were something I should support. He's posted pictures on snapchat and instagram with/of her, when it took him a few months to do that with me. It took him a few months to tell him that he loves me as well. Everything here screams that it is a rebound. I don't know what to do. He joked about getting back together by saying "one more shot wouldn't hurt right?" and followed by saying "tbh when people break up for real, its over. When two people break up and get back together, it doesn't feel the same anymore and feels forced, I'll never do it again." He even told me that he isn't filling a void I left with her, that he's perfectly fine without me or anyone, but how would he know that if he basically jumped into this relationship with the new girl? I think this is a rebound, we stopped talking on Jan 23 when I blocked him. I saw his first snap story of her on Feb 9 a few hours after my friend posted a picture of me looking good, about to go out. I dropped off his stuff on Feb 18 and he makes their relationship Facebook official on the 19th. Everything here screams rebound. I know that rebound relationships sometimes work out, and even if they don't, the person won't always come back to the original ex. I still have hope that he will come back. I don't feel like this is over in my heart and soul. Would you say this is a rebound? I know dumpees usually go on the rebound, but I am not sure if I am the dumper or dumpee here. I asked him to meet up for closure because everything happened over text, but he doesn't want to meet up until spring break. Not sure why. What should I do to get him back? No contact? I was going to meet up with him during break and tell him that I'm happy that he's happy, but I told him that before and he said he didn't believe it because if I cared then I would've changed (stopped yelling) a while ago. I think that I hurt him, and that he is confused. When I broke up with him, he said he should've waited to date me because he wanted to get his stuff together before dating me (shows me he's in it for the long run), but when I talked to him a couple of weeks ago about it, he denied it and said he saw no future with me in the last few months. I think that time he came here to pick up his things was the last chance I had. After I blocked him, he gave up. I asked him about it but he said that wasn't it, that the yelling caused it. But the last few months of our relationship had little to no yelling in them. Link to comment
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