Ugh I can’t stop looking at his social media.

[Cqc]

It’s like I’m addicted to it. I know I shouldn’t be doing it and it’s making things worse but I also don’t want to stop. I see him doing things without me (obviously) and see him being happy and it really hurts.

 

I see him hanging out with one of his friends who I kinda thought was a bad influence from day one but nothing I had to worry about since my ex and I were in a realtionship. Now that we are broken up I’m nervous that he’s going to put him in a situation he normally wouldn’t be in. I see they have been hanging out a lot more through his social media.

 

It could be my over thinking and anxiety. I just want my ex to come back and I feel like if there is any chance his friend would make it harder. I’m not sure I’m explaining this right but it really hurts. Thank you for reading this

[DanZee]

I think I know what you're talking about. But he's not your responsibility any more. You have to stop looking at his social media. Chances are that he's posting those pictures on purpose because he knows you're looking at them and he knows you don't like him hanging around with his bad friend. Stop letting him continue to hurt you. Block him. Delete him. Don't contact him. And stop looking at his stuff. There are nice guys out there for you.

 

I've read over your posts and you've skipped over the reason he broke up with you, other than saying you were too dependent. I have a feeling it was much deeper than that. You have to start admitting that "we" weren't in love, it was "you" who was in love. He started seeing a therapist because of something. Obviously they came to the conclusion that you were the cause of whatever he was feeling. Instead of trying to get back together with him, you should be looking forward.

[Cqc]

Yes I was too dependent on him, financially but not on purpose. He made it that way for me. I’m not sure all the reasons he went into therapy I do know our relationship was one of them but it wasn’t the only reason. He has a stressful job and stressful parents. I do know that we BOTH loved each other. I do know now that sometimes love isn’t enough to stay together. But I do hope that it will bring us back. I know I won’t be waiting around forever for him but I don’t want to give up completely this soon after our breakup. I know how much we both loved each other which is why it’s hard for me to just give up.

[MissCanuck]

You need to block him for now. It's about self-preservation, and allowing yourself to see what he's up to will only continue to hurt you.

 

For what it's worth, if a man really wants you, what his buddy thinks won't make a lot of difference.

[boltnrun]

You are choosing to keep yourself dependent on him.

 

He's going on with his life while you're stuck, living in a kind of groundhog day situation, attached to someone who is not attached to you.

 

Unless he has told you that he wants to explore getting back together, it's best to presume that for now, you aren't going to. And adjust your life accordingly.

[Cqc]

When we broke up he said something about how maybe later we can get back together. And I feel like that’s what I’m holding on to. If he meant it or not idk. But it’s only been two weeks. That’s why I’m not ready to give up. It hurts way too much.

[boltnrun]

Doesn't "holding on" hurt too?

 

And lots of so-called "dumpers" say that. It's a way to keep you from crying too much or begging and pleading.

[RayRay63]

When we broke up he said something about how maybe later we can get back together.

 

Maybe he was just trying to be nice, or string you along. None of us know. Maybe he doesn't know.

 

Or maybe as Boltnrun said, he said it so you would be less upset - but if so he didn't do it for you, he did it to make himself feel less guilty about hurting you.

 

The way things are right now, you need to learn to live your life without him in it. Boltnrun called it a presumption that you won't get back together. I'd call it a "current fact".

 

The situation may change, but don't cling on to that hope. Move on. The future will take care of itself.

 

And as for the social media - (mostly) everyone* does that. Don't fret over it. He's probably had a look at yours.

 

I understood from your first topic OP that you broke up and moved out in mid February - is that right?

 

I'm sorry if this sounds a little harsh, but strict no contact means not looking at his social media. So when you do block him - the purist would say that is NC day zero.

 

Personally I don't believe that, I think you can wean yourself off this stuff during NC, but it means it's going to take longer to heal. But we're all different, so do what works best for you.

 

[* I was looking at "the departed's" pin interest page last night. She didn't have much on there, and nothing recent. The odd thing is I only ever looked at it a couple of times when we were together. So I made sure I had a really good look around, and then blocked her.]

[MissCanuck]

When we broke up he said something about how maybe later we can get back together. And I feel like that’s what I’m holding on to. If he meant it or not idk. But it’s only been two weeks. That’s why I’m not ready to give up. It hurts way too much.

 

Sadly, a lot of dumpers say this. It doesn't usually mean much, beyond being a misguided attempt to soften the blow. In my younger and less mature days, I myself said that to an ex just to get him to stop pleading. I of course realized later that it wasn't a good idea, because I really didn't see a future with him.

[Everlong13]

I incentivised it, if I didn't look at his social media before a certain date I treated myself to something nice. It worked! The longer I went without looking, the easier it got.