Proper time to talk finances?

[thorough]

good point. .

It's still early in the scheme of things.

I would just consider this as strike one. . and just put it aside for now.

If he truly has an issue with it that makes you uncomfortable, he's bound to do something similar again.

 

Something again came up, I needed to buy a hygiene product, he asked me if it was expensive or something like that (like 10.00 ) and asked if I wanted him to pay for it.

[reinventmyself]

Something again came up, I needed to buy a hygiene product, he asked me if it was expensive or something like that (like 10.00 ) and asked if I wanted him to pay for it.

 

Well. . .Is this something you can live with?

Was he offering to be generous or asking because he was concerned?

[thorough]

Well. . .Is this something you can live with?

Was he offering to be generous or asking because he was concerned?

 

Idk why he was asking, then again if I wanted to pay for my friend/partner, I'd just offer to buy it.

[katrina1980]

Something again came up, I needed to buy a hygiene product, he asked me if it was expensive or something like that (like 10.00 )

 

**and asked if I wanted him to pay for it.

 

This is where you speak up and ask "him" - "Why are you asking me that? No, I don't need you to pay for it, I make my own money, and will buy whatever I please, including drinks when I go out.." (Your previous post.)

 

THAT is asserting your boundaries.

 

This would piss me off BAD. I'm getting wound up just reading it!

 

Who the hell is he? Some guy you've been dating for what, a few months, and he's in your business like that?

 

Um, no.

 

Just me, but this would be close to a dealbreaker.

 

It's none of his damn business what you spend your money on unless you're married and splitting expenses.

 

thorough, this is a big red flag, the guy sounds extrememy controlling and it will only get worse.

 

Franky, you sound quite annoyed by it yourself.

[katrina1980]

thorough, just out of curiosity, how did he know you were buying a hygiene product?

 

Did you tell him? If so, why?

 

What would prompt you to tell him anything you buy?

 

I don't tell my boyfriends what I buy with my money. And they don't tell me what they buy, until after the fact, and I'm like "cool"!!

 

They don't hassle me about what I buy either as long as we're both contributing to the RL.

 

Short term RL, LTR, even when my ex and I lived together and were sharing expenses, there was no reason to tell him such things.

 

I always contributed my share of the expenses, so, and not to sound crass, what business is it of his what I choose to buy with my own money?

 

Money issues are one of the major reasons couples break up.

 

Keep 'em separate, and as long as you're both contributing your fair share, stay out of each other's business about what each of you choose to buy and spend "your" money on.

 

Sorry, a bit of a rant but controlling men, especially re MY money, really get my blood boiling.

[catfeeder]

Answer: "Why are you asking me this?"

[Wiseman2]

He sounds nosy. Stop answering to him. Ask him "why do you need to know?" or another vague answer. Stop talking about your finances with him. Ask him if he's ever dated gold diggers and why he's asking these nosy irrelevent questions. You need to put him on the defensive rather than being on the defensive.

S The other day my bf and I were talking finances and he wanted to make sure I'm just splashing cash like crazy. This is a valid point, but on the other hand, I earn the money and he doesn't support me financially at all, except buying me gifts, paying for food (which we both help each other out), etc.