OLD jitters, or should I trust my gut?

[Seymore]

After leaving my ex over 2 years ago, some counseling and talking with friends and family, I decided to start a Match account. My heart's not totally in it but I've been told to just do it, even if it's to see what's out there.

 

Well, I've been mostly disappointed since 80 percent of the likes I'd gotten this first week were from phony accounts - I even tried getting a refund because of it but am stuck for 3 months so why not just make the best of it.

 

Friday a girl messaged me, not phony. She said my profile made her smile and introduced herself. She seemed really cool and is attractive to me, although she is divorced with a kid but at my age that's to be expected I guess. I bit the bullet and replied. She responded soon after with "how long have you been married"...um, it was clear on my profile I've never been married. She quickly replied with "oops that wasn't meant for you" and an hour later replied apologizing for screwing up. I didn't respond but she continued.

 

She told me her story and I saw a red flag - she separated 8 months ago and her divorce was JUST finalized 3 days ago. I got a weird feeling and didn't reply since 2 nights ago.

 

She said she cancelled her account and won't be on after tomorrow but I noticed she still has been looking at my profile today and yesterday so she still seems interested. Do I reply before tomorrow or does this seem like a recipe for disaster?

[DaisyMayPorter]

I think you should reply to her. Just because her divorce wasn't finalized until 3 days ago (did she tell you that?) doesn't mean she's not a good person and isn't worthy of dating.

 

Honestly, I started going online recently because I'm trying to forget about someone, and it's been so hard. Guys ask me out, then cancel the dates right before. One guy told me he was in an open marriage. One guy wanted to meet me the same afternoon he started talking to me. A few people have said lewd comments. It's not fun. But I guess you keep on trying? I don't know. I so badly don't want to go on the dating site again, but I'm forcing myself to. It's tough. Good luck!

[Batya33]

When I did OLD I erred on the side of not meeting especially if it had to do with questions about whether the story added up. I think it’s fine that she was chatting with someone else and shady that she is so recently divorced and that she’s closing her account which makes no sense if she wants to meet people for the right reasons. Also isn’t there a way for her not to have you see her looking at your profile? I’d stop contacting her but if you choose to meet she seems harmless enough just not a potentially good match for you or anyone right now

[Seymore]

She did tell me that. I guess I just worry that she's not over things and it seems too soon. My ex was divorced and I saw a lot of ugly things related to baggage that got me sucked in.

[Seymore]

When I did OLD I erred on the side of not meeting especially if it had to do with questions about whether the story added up. I think it’s fine that she was chatting with someone else and shady that she is so recently divorced and that she’s closing her account which makes no sense if she wants to meet people for the right reasons. Also isn’t there a way for her not to have you see her looking at your profile? I’d stop contacting her but if you choose to meet she seems harmless enough just not a potentially good match for you or anyone right now

 

I don't mind her looking at my profile (gives me an ego boost which is much needed at the moment), I just want something serious and I'm worried that she's not the right person for it. I expect her to chat with someone else but something feels off.

 

And yes her deleting her profile so soon also makes me wonder.

[limichelle]

I agree OP,

 

She is rebounding and you don't see it going anywhere so why waste your time on those non potential matches.

 

I'm like you, I just don't want to find friends or date for the sake of it. If I'm going to invest in someone I want it to go somewhere.

 

Always go with your gut instincts.

 

Lisa

[Seymore]

So she did view my profile yet again so I messaged asking why she was deleting her profile so soon.

 

She basically said what I felt, that her friends egged her on for online dating and all of the men were taken. She gave me her phone number in case her subscription ran out before I got the message and said she'd prefer I call because she's not a writer.

 

I checked the number and it's legitimate. Still on limichelle's rebound idea in my mind so not sure if I'll call. If she was really interested she'd have no issue with writing for a bit, right?

[Batya33]

So she did view my profile yet again so I messaged asking why she was deleting her profile so soon.

 

She basically said what I felt, that her friends egged her on for online dating and all of the men were taken. She gave me her phone number in case her subscription ran out before I got the message and said she'd prefer I call because she's not a writer.

 

I checked the number and it's legitimate. Still on limichelle's rebound idea in my mind so not sure if I'll call. If she was really interested she'd have no issue with writing for a bit, right?

 

I never wanted to write. I learned relevant info as to whether to meet only by phone, not by writing. If she gave you her number then call -I don't buy the teenagish "my friends made me do it". Although, I made my middle aged sister do it and paid for her subscription and she met someone she dated for 7 years (good person, not ultimately right for each other).

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Yeah lots of red flags and lies. Maybe she should be on Ashley Madison?

she separated 8 months ago and her divorce was JUST finalized 3 days ago.

[Seymore]

Sorry to hear this. Yeah lots of red flags and lies. Maybe she should be on Ashley Madison?

Lmao...actually I was at a store last night talking with some random girl who really caught my eye and although I didn't have the guts to ask for her number it made me think that there are plenty of others out there. I'm thinking of maybe just joining Meetup and making some friends. Doesn't have to be dating and I'm doing fine being single.