Yarmer Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 I've had a great time with this girl I've seen for a little over a month but I'm looking for more. I'm crazy about her yes, but her communication and spaciness is driving me crazy. She communicates just enough to show she's interested but never calls or makes plans. I'd like a surprise every now and then haha. When would you hang it up? She is going out of town this weekend (Friday morning) and she said Sunday she wanted to make plans this time for us to do something. It's Tuesday and she hasn't mentioned anything. I was out of town this past weekend so it's important to me that we see each other. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Do you think this has her on the defensive?We spent all night together on the town and then went back to my place. Things get heated pretty quickly and she starts telling me this story about how some guy gave her something back in the day. So I guessed herpes and she said yes. Things definitely died down Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 While I do think this is probably true, she has mentioned she broke things off with the last guy because he was too nice?? And I'm on the defensive as well. I haven't been this into anyone since my ex which I think is the root of my craziness. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Have you asked her out again? If you have did she decline? If you haven't asked her out again, why haven't you? Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 6, 2018 Author Share Posted February 6, 2018 She mentioned she wanted to make the plans for our next date a couple days ago. Last night I said I wanted to come by last night and drop something off and see her. She texted and said how about another night because she was tired Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 She mentioned she wanted to make the plans for our next date a couple days ago. Last night I said I wanted to come by last night and drop something off and see her. She texted and said how about another night because she was tired That is not a date, it's a hang out. Maybe she doesn't like last minute self-invites to her home. Ask her out on a real date and if she makes a lame excuse then don't bother with her anymore because she's a flake and you don't want to be wasting your time, emotions or date money on someone who isn't jonesing to be with you. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 6, 2018 Share Posted February 6, 2018 Threads have been merged. Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 7, 2018 Author Share Posted February 7, 2018 You are right and I followed your advice. We picked a night to hang out and thats that. I still feel like im carrying all the weight over here but its like I get a completely different girl when we see each other. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 7, 2018 Share Posted February 7, 2018 Never invite yourself over. Don't ask last minute. She may have seen this as booty call and been rather turned off...or maybe she was "really tired". Why don't you ask her for a real date over the weekend.Last night I said I wanted to come by last night and drop something off and see her. She texted and said how about another night because she was tired Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Share Posted February 8, 2018 Never invite yourself over. Don't ask last minute. She may have seen this as booty call and been rather turned off...or maybe she was "really tired". Why don't you ask her for a real date over the weekend.[/quote We ended up going on a date last night and it was great. BUT i felt overwhelming anxiety though and didnt feel like myself almost insecure (never been like this around a girl) is this what love feels like? Haha I asked her to stay with me that night but she said she had to get up super early. She's going out of town this weekend so I saidI wished we could see each other more and she responded that i was out of town last weekend and she will be out of town this weekend. Definitely some awkwardness in the air. And I just said I know it just sucks. The night ended on a weird note. 100% regret that comment but I couldn't hold it in any longer. What advice would you give? My plan is to leave her be and if she wants to reach out over the weekend great if not, Ill know where we stand and it's time to move on. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Wish her a nice trip and be upbeat. Then leave the ball in her court. Also stop pushing the last minute, try to sleep over thing. It seems to be turning her off to you.She's going out of town this weekend so I saidI wished we could see each other more and she responded that i was out of town last weekend and she will be out of town this weekend. Definitely some awkwardness in the air. And I just said I know it just sucks. The night ended on a weird note. Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 8, 2018 Author Share Posted February 8, 2018 Wish her a nice trip and be upbeat. Then leave the ball in her court. Also stop pushing the last minute, try to sleep over thing. It seems to be turning her off to you.[/quote She posted something on social media showing she didn't go to work in early and then immediately sent me a snap saying she decided to paint instead. The flakiness is turning me off now. my original post about age difference, this is what I'm talking about. Immaturity and flakiness. I saw red flags from the get go but chose not to acknowledge them. NC all the way. I want feelings to be genuine and mutual without me having to guess and read into things. Waste of time. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 The person who has to chase will always be in the lesser power. So stop chasing her, to see if the tables flip and she starts chasing you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 8, 2018 Share Posted February 8, 2018 Yeah, it starting to sound like too much trouble to be worth it. Stop pursuing her altogether.She posted something on social media showing she didn't go to work in early and then immediately sent me a snap saying she decided to paint instead. The flakiness is turning me off now. Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 I followed your advice and wished her a fun trip. She sent me snaps all day and some the next day. On the day she was retuning I asked her how her trip was and she was very responsive. How do I proceed? Only respond to her attempts to reach out? Valentines is Wednesday...do I completely ignore it? Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 she has mentioned she broke things off with the last guy because he was too nice?? Stay away from women who says things like this. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 The person who has to chase will always be in the lesser power. So stop chasing her, to see if the tables flip and she starts chasing you. Yeah apparently she's not attracted to "nice guys," so yeah stop pursuing/chasing/giving her attention. That just may do the trick! Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 13, 2018 Author Share Posted February 13, 2018 I appreciate all of your advice. I don't want to play games. I plan on asking her out tomorrow night for the weekend and see if she agrees. If not, I think I get the picture. Thanks Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 Welp, this thread will give me advice for years to come. Called her up had a nice convo and she was avoiding the invite to hang so I called her out on it in a joking way. Then she said she'd let me know if she can go on the date with me. I'm hanging it up for good. Not worth wasting my time, emotion and money and possibly getting herpes for. Gift from the man up stairs. Praise Jesus. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Excellent. The whole thing was way too much of a headache.Not worth wasting my time, emotion and money and possibly getting herpes for. Link to comment
Yarmer Posted February 21, 2018 Author Share Posted February 21, 2018 Didn't contact her for a couple of days and she blows my phone up Friday and Saturday last weekend. We were both out with our friends but I asked if she wanted to meet up. She agreed and then her phone died... texts me at 3 am saying her phone died and she got drug downtown. It seems there is attraction there but I've sort of changed my thought process on this. I think she having herpes and her last boyfriend of 4 years has put her on the defensive. When things between us we're begeining to escalate she got scared and pulled back. I pulled back as well and she came after me. Going forward I'm putting this in the back seat and plan on continuing dating other women. (if I didn't like someone, I wouldn't text them). Link to comment
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