I still love my ex

[Crushton44]

Hi so I split with my ex 4 years ago we both moved on an had babies. I've always thought about him never stopped I love him, yesterday I plucked up the courage to message him and get answers and tell him how I feel! He feels the same way, problem is I have a boyfriend who I don't love I have tried to tell him it is over but he won't accept it. I want to leave him and see how things go with my ex. Any help please????????

[Capricorn3]

problem is I have a boyfriend who I don't love

First thing to do, is do the right thing and break up with your boyfriend. It doesn't matter that he won't accept it, he can't stop you leaving. It would also be a very bad idea to head straight back to your EX - that's called rebound. Break up and stay single for a good long while to get yourself together, to be in a mentally healthier place before getting involved in another relationship. Monkey branching will never lead to a successful relationship. Sort yourself out first, starting with leaving someone you don't love, which is very unfair to your boyfriend - he deserves much better.

[90_hour_sleep]

Why'd you break up 4 years ago?

[SweetGirl28]

I agree with Capricorn

[melancholy123]

First thing to do, is do the right thing and break up with your boyfriend. It doesn't matter that he won't accept it, he can't stop you leaving. It would also be a very bad idea to head straight back to your EX - that's called rebound. Break up and stay single for a good long while to get yourself together, to be in a mentally healthier place before getting involved in another relationship. Monkey branching will never lead to a successful relationship. Sort yourself out first, starting with leaving someone you don't love, which is very unfair to your boyfriend - he deserves much better.

 

Yes! Exactly this.

[brookew17]

Hi so I split with my ex 4 years ago we both moved on an had babies. I've always thought about him never stopped I love him, yesterday I plucked up the courage to message him and get answers and tell him how I feel! He feels the same way, problem is I have a boyfriend who I don't love I have tried to tell him it is over but he won't accept it. I want to leave him and see how things go with my ex. Any help please????????

 

I'm also curious why you guys broke up 4 years ago?

[No1]

Do you really love your X or you just want to go back to a time that you were happy? I have been reading your posts and it sounds like you are doing whatever you can to sabatoge the relationship to get out. You feel like a horrible GF, he deserves better, you dont want to have sex with him anymore and you have received advice to go see a doctor about those issues? Have you seen a professional or a counselor?

You have a baby that was born way premature and you questioned why you cant go to full term and there is a lot going on with you mentally and physically. And you decided to seek out the person that you were with when you were happy. Its almost like fooling yourself that doing this would be the answer to all of your problems. I would suggest seeing a professional who can help you sort out the issues, concerns, fears, that you have. Maybe a few sessions in couples therapy would be good too. Reality is that you can break up with your boyfriend, but he is going to be a part of your life because you two had a son together. You also mentioned that your X also has kids. Are you really emotionally ready for another child in your life? You believe you are a terrible mom and you think adding another child is a good idea right now?

You are going to do what you want to. But know that you cant ignore your issues. You can sweep them under a rug, stuff them in your closet, not think about them but they will come back unless you seek out help. Good luck with whatever you choose.