crdm Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 This needs a bit of background knowledge. I am 22 and no longer living in the house and my younger brother is 8. In 2014 my oldest brother passed away aged 26, this was a big strain on my parents relationship. Since then my father became quite selfish with his time and would do things for himself rather than the family. He would regularly leave for hours at a time with no explanation as to where he was and his phone was a big secretive thing that no one was allowed near. In October 2016 my mother discovered he was having an emotional relationship with another woman, she was upset but she wanted to work things out for the sake of my little brother. Since then things have gotten worse and she has decided she wants to end the marriage. In the past few months she has been looking for a place to live for her and my younger brother. She confided all this in me in the past week. Yesterday evening she told my father and he got really mad. He started blaming everything on her (I have visited over the past few months and I know they are both at fault for a variety of things). This evening he brought up money issues in front of my little brother and started another large argument which made my little brother hide in a bathroom and phone me. I feel sorry for my father because I know he must be hurting but he would never speak to me about these things. My main concern - and the reason for writing this- is I am not sure how to support my younger brother through this. I live in a different city and work/uni commitments & financial issues mean I can not go to visit him any time soon. He called me this evening in tears telling me he was hiding in the bathroom because they were fighting again. He's just a little kid and he kept telling me he just wants them to be happy but he doesn't want them to be apart. If anyone has any advice or own experience they could share with me as how to support most importantly my little brother but also my mum and dad it would be greatly appreciated. I have told him he can call or FaceTime me whenever he wants but even saying something wrong over the phone worries me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Can you tell your parents the impact of their fighting is having on your brother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lester Posted January 23, 2018 Share Posted January 23, 2018 Find the time to go home and do things with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charliehorse Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Ditto previous post, you need to talk with both your parents, they need to know the arguments are affecting your brother, Stop fighting when he's around to hear it. At his age children tend to blame themselves for the divorce. Don't wait for him to call, call him frequently, he'll need to vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Agree. Tell you folks about this. Also be available to him and listen to him, as you have been. Are there aunts uncles other family he could stay with now and then? Can he sleep over friends' homes? He called me this evening in tears telling me he was hiding in the bathroom because they were fighting again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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