CarolingAlong Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 Ex and I broke up 3 months ago. We’ve kept in limited contact. Always cordial and friendly. We do not have kids, or mutual assets that require contact. I realize NC is always recommended but will it even make an impact after 3 months? Is it too late to start? Yes I want another chance, but I have NEVER (since that day after I was dumped) begged or pleaded, no guilt trips, no emotion at all really other than trying to portray myself in the best light possible. Link to comment
shessofly Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 Nc is useful for moving on and it’s never too late to start. Link to comment
sputnik123 Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 Never too late to start NC x Best of luck :) Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 Thank you for your reply. Problem is when you’re not sure you want to move on without a fight... and I’ve never taken that chance. Again, not begging but an honest, calm and sincere convo... Link to comment
shessofly Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 Why did you break up? What is your definition of fighting? Have you not already had an honest, calm and sincere convo in the last 3 months? Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 No we honestly haven’t had one relationship based conversation in all 3 months. It’s always been a how are you? Happy holidays, condolences when someone close to us passed. Never anything drama filled or about “us” We had a rough month back in sept. Just at eachothers throats. Ultinately he said I love you but don’t see a future. We were together 3 years, before then we were most certainly planning a future together. Bottom line only thing I can come up with was “cold feet” due to a rough patch. Truth is I never got a clear reason why this even happened. There was absolutely no cheating, lying, abuse, or anything like that. Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 Oh and I meant put up a “fight” for what I want not actual fighting. Lol that’s the last thing I’d want!! Link to comment
Ian4996 Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 Personally I'd want some closure, for peace of mind if nothing else. I think if you find out the real reasons, you could decide whether it's something worth 'fighting for' or not. But then I'm no expert and am struggling big time myself at the moment, so I may not be the best person to advise! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 "Fighting" for a relationship only works if both parties are on board. A relationship can't happen if only half the couple wants to reconcile. Has he ever mentioned reconciliation? Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 Good advice! It’s true without knowing why does make it harder to know if it’s worth it. I often think, have the talk what’s to lose, right? Sorry you’re going through a hard time also. Wishing you peace and that everyday gets a little easier on you. Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 15, 2018 Author Share Posted January 15, 2018 No neither have I Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Sounds like you're just being cordial to one another. He broke up with you, yet in these three months there's been no mention of a relationship again, nor talk of what happened. Doesn't seem he is interested in rekindling the romance. What is your goal of going NC now? Do you want to see if he will miss you? You'd have to let him know you are doing so, because after you've already been in contact this entire time, he will think you're not interested anymore, and are ghosting on him. Don't use NC as a game to try and win anyone back, it doesn't work. Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 16, 2018 Author Share Posted January 16, 2018 Honestly goal of NC is both. Give me time and space and yes of course hope he misses me. I wouldn’t come out and tell him I’m doing it. It just wouldn’t be like me to do. Plus, it gives him power in knowing im still so broken up about this that I have to cut him off. If I’m gonna do that I’d just imitate a talk with him and see how that goes. I mean what do I have to lose?? Link to comment
SweetGirl28 Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Honestly goal of NC is both. Give me time and space and yes of course hope he misses me. I wouldn’t come out and tell him I’m doing it. It just wouldn’t be like me to do. Plus, it gives him power in knowing im still so broken up about this that I have to cut him off. If I’m gonna do that I’d just imitate a talk with him and see how that goes. I mean what do I have to lose?? You might lose all contact by pressing the issue, but it wouldn't really be a loss, as you want to get back together, and if he doesn't, you need to walk away from this anyway, until you feel indifferent toeards him. Having contact without knowing what his intentions are is not conducive to healing. Link to comment
CarolingAlong Posted January 16, 2018 Author Share Posted January 16, 2018 Pretty much my thoughts exactly. Terrified to do it, and right now isn’t the best time for me to do it because of a huge career thing coming up but that will all be a thing of the past in a month. So focusing on that for now. Thank you for the advice Link to comment
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