Sploosh79 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 My fiance and I live together and have been for quite some time. I just got a new job and our two jobs conflict when it comes to us spending time together. He goes to work at 4pm and gets home anywhere between 1am and 5am because of his job. Some days, like today, I work an 11 to 7, so I don't see him at all today, and thats maybe 3 or 4 times a week. Some days I work at 3 or 5 but he sleeps until 12 or 1. We have Wednesdays off together all day. I feel like we don't see each other often for living together but maybe I just wish it was like the American dream where couples work at the same time then come home at the same time and spend the rest of the evening together. I'm just worrisome and feel like maybe the lack if time together will be detrimental to our relationship. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 The American Dream is just that, a dream. Can one of you change jobs to a better time/days off? Sounds drastic if you like your job, but it could help a lot. If that's not possible then you have to make the best of the time you do have together. I used to work days and my ex husband worked afternoons so we saw each other on weekends. Ultimately the marriage fell apart and the crazy hours sure didnt help things. Link to comment
thealchemist Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Well when I had to take a nightshift job it was hell. My wife is a teacher and I worked 9-7 for 5 days a week. But we were in a tight situation and I had little choice. I felt we were "off" a bit the entire time I worked nightshift. After a year I couldn't take it. I pretty much went to my work and told them if they couldn't move me to 1st shift I was quitting. My relationship stability was more important to me than my work stability. A big love language my wife and I share as our top is quality time. Not only did we work differently but our sleep schedules were off, and even though every weekend I switched to a normal schedule I was a bit zombified during the day. I am just saying than my wife and I have (and had) a great relationship but that work schedule was hard on us. Link to comment
Imho Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 My fiance and I live together and have been for quite some time. I just got a new job and our two jobs conflict when it comes to us spending time together. He goes to work at 4pm and gets home anywhere between 1am and 5am because of his job. Some days, like today, I work an 11 to 7, so I don't see him at all today, and thats maybe 3 or 4 times a week. Some days I work at 3 or 5 but he sleeps until 12 or 1. We have Wednesdays off together all day. I feel like we don't see each other often for living together but maybe I just wish it was like the American dream where couples work at the same time then come home at the same time and spend the rest of the evening together. I'm just worrisome and feel like maybe the lack if time together will be detrimental to our relationship. My suggestion is instead of focusing on the time you don't have together, focus on the time you do have together. You both are off on Wednesday so make that your together day. Does your schedules allow for lunch dates, quick coffee meetings or etc? Not sure of the distance between your jobs. Try to find time to appreciate one another even if its only 15 minutes. Leave notes for him to see when he awakes and little things like that may make him smile and think of you. Always have open communication. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 I just got a new job and our two jobs conflict Why did you take a job that would have you conflicted on your times together? How about you keep looking for something more compatible to his job and he does the same. Don't quit what you both have until you find something else, of course. You can't nurture a relationship when you hardly ever see one another unless you're both the type that can just enjoy what time you do have (which isn't the case here). Link to comment
Sploosh79 Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 We are moving and I needed a new higher paying job so I could help pay bills, rather than him taking 75% of the load. Link to comment
Sploosh79 Posted January 14, 2018 Author Share Posted January 14, 2018 And my last job conflicted with his too. But I work more hours now Link to comment
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