Stretched to thin

[AlexLewis]

I understand that life has its challenges and stress is a normal thing to experience. I have over stretched myself and neglected proper self care. For the most part I am managing, but I am feeling isolated and detached. I have a hard time expressing feelings and opening up to anyone. I don't want to isolate or make anyone around me feel rejected. The people I do have in my life are extremely supportive and nurturing. I just want to know if anyone has any pointers on how to regulate these feelings that I am now projecting onto loved ones who in all fairness are feeling hurt with my emotional issues. I've tried talking to several people and they just seem confused. I am open to constructive criticism and any suggestions anyone has to offer. Thanks.

[Wiseman2]

Therapy is the best place to explore all this and get constructive advice, rather than burdening family or friends. Never use people to fix your problems.

The people I do have in my life are extremely supportive and nurturing. I just want to know if anyone has any pointers on how to regulate these feelings that I am now projecting onto loved ones who in all fairness are feeling hurt with my emotional issues. I've tried talking to several people and they just seem confused.

[AlexLewis]

I guess I should have been a little more clear. I do have a therapist.. I guess more asking along the lines for even having a basic conversation or trying to relate to my loved ones. And they seem perplexed or worried or maybe just not sure how to respond to me. I usually save all my deep lingering issues for professionals. I guess I'm just asking how not to come off like a robot on auto pilot.

[Clarisse]

I guess I should have been a little more clear. I do have a therapist.. I guess more asking along the lines for even having a basic conversation or trying to relate to my loved ones. And they seem perplexed or worried or maybe just not sure how to respond to me. I usually save all my deep lingering issues for professionals. I guess I'm just asking how not to come off like a robot on auto pilot.

 

I don't relate to my family very well. We love each other, but they don't really "get" me. I don't try to talk about deep emotional issues with them. We primarily stick to lighter conversation topics like what's going on at work, with my kids, hobbies, general stuff. The deeper issues I discuss with my therapist and SO.

 

As for not appearing "robotic", try shifting to interviewer mode. Ask questions about them and their lives and really engage and listen. Take the focus off yourself. People generally like to talk about themselves.

[AlexLewis]

Thank you Clarisse. I will have to try this out. Maybe just until I feel better.

[milly007]

I'm very close with my family, and they always know or seem to pick up on when something stressful is going on in my life.

 

I'be learned to be vocal with them and let them know when I'm stressed and when I need my personal space to deal with things.

 

In my experience, I've had to relay to them if I'm stressed out or when I have a lot on my plate and have to focus on my life. Otherwise, they expect me to drop everything to accommodate them when there's a family gathering, function, etc., when in reality, I can't always do this.

 

It hasn't been easy, but I know what I need to do for my life. I'm at a point where they can either respect my decisions or not. I can't worry about how they react.

 

I also emphasize that I don't want to get into detail about what's going on in my life, but that I'm letting them know so they're aware.

 

In my family, keeping it quiet just doesn't work, because they always seem to know something's up. So I keep them apprised, without going into detail, and trust that they will respect my space and that I don't want to discuss anything in detail. This way they also know my stress, etc. is nothing personal against them.

 

It's difficult finding that happy medium sometimes between dealing with life's challenges and not allowing this stress to affect our personal lives and relationships in a negative way.

 

I'm a work in progress, but I'm finding my way.

 

Could you do something similar? Make it known that you have a lot on your plate, but that you don't want to talk about it?

 

Works for me, but I realize won't work for everyone.

[AlexLewis]

I completely understand that, hence why I didn' t elbrorate on specifics myself. And unfortunately, I have tried that route then went back to being quiet but then coming off as zombie mode. I can't find a balance. I guess my whole point was not making everyone around me walk on egg shells are take it the wrong way. And I can tell my level of detachment and isolating is coming to a head where in I find it impossible to relate to others. And these aren't strangers but I feel like I am making it that way. I just can't do feelings and I can't people very well. Sorry for my rant just at a loss. I really appreciate the input.