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Begged for ex boyfriend for 2 months after breakup

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please help..


i'm really at a loss of what to do... me and my ex were together for a year and had a great relationship at first.. then i had become depressed and said and did a lot of things i regret. in the end, he said he couldn't handle the stress of the relationship anymore, that i was putting too much pressure on him and he had too much stress in his life to be handling a serious relationship as well. I was heartbroken and i felt really bad for all that i had said and did and begged for him back for a day, then he saw me in person and said we shouldn't talk for a long time. I didn't contact him for two days and then he texted me telling me he was open to being friends. i agreed as i still had feelings for him and now i realize this was the wrong thing to do.


for about a week i wasn't outwardly begging for him back, but i told him i wanted to fix everything between us etc etc and took him talking to me and still saying he loved and cared about me as a sign i could get him back. we had both agreed that we wouldn't be doing anything with other people.. then i found out that he had been with another girl even after telling me he wouldn't, i got mad and we didn't talk for another 2 days until he texted me again, apologized, said he still loved and cared about me and wanted to talk. i agreed again but said we really needed to talk in person to sort things out. he said we would eventually.


then we started to sort of talk again every day, i kept wanting to meet in person but he said he was busy and needed to find the right time. i asked if there was any chance of reconciliation in the future and he said maybe, but not now, when he could handle a serious relationship. i still wanted him back and texted him a lot more than i should've.. throughout all of this he told me he couldn't be in a relationship with me because it was too much stress.. i tried continuously to convince him that i could change and things could change but he said he just couldn't do it. eventually we stopped talking every day and i got a little bit better, but i still believed i could convince him to get back with me!!


i was still asking him to meet in person but he kept saying he was busy. so for about a month we talked over text every couple of days and he was still saying the same thing, that he couldn't be with me because it was too much stress, that he had changed a lot and forced himself not to miss me and not to care, that i had to accept the fact that we aren't dating and can't be close like we were.. this really hurt and i was getting over it slowly but still texted him every few of days or so to see how he was doing and to ask if we could talk in person. overall i pretty much put myself in a very bad position.. gave him all the power. and i was being a lot more nicer than he was.. throughout this whole thing he has been very very distant as well.


finally in the beginning of December he says we can meet up. so i go and we don't talk about our relationship really, just talk about how we are doing and our lives. i still had feelings for him even though i didn't admit it to him and said otherwise. he asks me how it is to be single and i say i miss being in a relationship.. and we both said that we missed the feeling of having somebody there no matter what.. so i took this to mean he was missing me even though he had told me he hadn't, and thought that things were getting better because he was opening up to me and when i asked if we would ever talk in person again he said yeah.


after that i texted him to say that i'd always be there for him, etc etc and he replied the same. and we didn't talk for a couple of days until i reached out again and asked how he was doing. i asked why he didn't believe me when i talked about things being fixed between us. he said he believed me always, he just couldn't do it because he didn't have the energy or the willpower, that he wasn't the same. then he told me he didn't like his life anymore and how things were going.. and said maybe we could talk about it all at a later time. i took it as a good sign again to get closer and that maybe i could convince him that things wouldn't be so bad between us again.


soon after something surprising happened.. somebody told me they were interested in me and i was at a loss on what to do because i knew my ex had told me there was no chance of us being together right now, but on the other i still had feelings for him and wanted to try badly. so i texted my ex and said i really needed to talk to him in person again.. he kept asking me why but i didn't say much other than i had to figure things out. he then said we could meet but he was curious why i kept asking him to talk when we were broken up.


today we met. and it went really badly.. i tried asking him about his life but he wouldn't say much, then he asked me why i came here. and i started asking him about our relationship to which he didn't react greatly to. he said that there was absolutely no chance i could change his mind, that i needed to move on, that we couldn't be friends, and when i asked about our future, this time he said there was none unless we met later on in life. i was really really heartbroken and basically begged for him back. he didn't like this at all.. and said i really needed to move on and forget about him, and when i asked if he had ever missed me he said he forced himself not to miss it and forced himself not to care, not to feel anything when i texted him or anything.


then i told him the real reason i wanted to see him. i told him that i was at a loss on what to do because i wanted to try with him but now there was somebody else.. he got mad and reacted really badly and told me not to tell him about anything i'm doing and asked why i even told him that.. i felt really bad and said i was sorry and that i didn't even want to date somebody else, that i wanted him only. he said he was sorry but there was nothing he could do.. and said for me not to feel anything for him.. he said he hadn't done anything with any other girls other than that one he had been with when we first broke up because he felt too bad.. now i am so worried about what he will do now that i said that..


i've tried everything possible to get him back.. is there anything i even can do to make him want to come back? i feel so bad because i've given him a huge advantage over me and now it just seems he's fed up with me trying to convince him to get back and wait for him.

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i've tried everything possible to get him back.. is there anything i even can do to make him want to come back?


it just seems he's fed up with me trying to convince him to get back and wait for him.


You can't get him back. You can't MAKE someone love you. He's done. For him it's over. You've begged and pleaded, which makes you look desperate and pathetic, needy and clingy (all not good). None was successful and in fact, pushed him away even more - as you note, he's fed up with it all.


Learn to accept when things are over and move on with what's left of your dignity in tact.

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You do really need to walk away from this, if not for yourself, at least for him.


If there was ever a chance that he could have come back, your incessant begging, pleading and badgering has caused him to close the door on that completely. He has said that being in a serious relationship was too stressful for him right now. Let me clarify... He felt being in a relationship with you was too stressful, likely because of your depression and the things you had said. Then after the break up, you wouldn't leave him alone with your begging and pleading. Because that was supposed to make him want to come back?


Your constant desire to be in a relationship, the missing massive hole you are feeling would suggest that you are not terribly comfortable being alone. And this could be a root cause of your depression also, your need to have someone there and when that someone doesn't make you feel great, you cling on even tighter. The thing is, the person you need the most is YOU. You need to get to know you. You need to get to love you. You need to be comfortable in your own skin and be happy in yourself, else you are going to make more and more demands from other people who can never live up to your needs. You are looking for someone to complete you, but you need to complete yourself first.


Go learn to be happy alone and when you are, add someone to your life. Don't add someone to your life in hope they will make you happy.

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I don't think he's coming back, OP.


He said no even before you told him someone else was interested in you. And I have to agree with him; I can't see why you so badly needed to tell him about that, unless your hope was to make him jealous. It was not a wise move, but I don't think it changed the ultimate outcome. He still didn't want the relationship even absent this information about another guy.


It's time for you to stop looking for ways to make him feel the way you do. That's not respectful, and it's not possible, Accept his decision and show him you can respect his feelings too, and not just keep acting based on what you want. I realize it's not your intention, but you're showing him that you're not listening to him and don't really care what he says. Follow Keyman's advice and use this opportunity to make some positive changes in your life; learn to be happy and fulfilled on your own, and happier and healthier relationships will follow.

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  • 2 weeks later...

type in ‘ 1 weird way to get him back ( or get over him faster) Matthew Hussey - get the guy


Watch this video on YouTube it’s a dating expert I find them helpful, basically says the method of getting him back or moving on is the same process so watch it


Also go on ‘ex boyfriend recovery’ website it can give advice on how to win the back but also how to move on if that’s what you choose to do

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