Only interested in the ones who don’t want me

[Rozhni]

So how has all your "push/pull" worked out re the girl you created your last thread about?

 

The girl who "isn't ready" and only wants to be "friends."

 

Not very well according to what you posted in your thread; you've been obsessing over her for months; meanwhile, even though she's texting, she isn't 'feeling it' and only wants to be friends.

 

Has this changed since you decided to "pull back"?

 

That said, I get what you're saying. I played that push/pull game for years; my relationships were exciting but far from healthy.

 

I have since met a man who has offered me a different way of interacting, and I'm falling in love with him!

 

Games get old after awhile, and the feelings elicited from game are fleeting.

 

It’s actually going very well unfortunately I’m not as into her as I was last week. I even mentioned that I gave up because I’m not a desperate man. I just thought her and I were so well connected that I just had to have her and that’s where I was messing up. So I basically left and she caught on. She called me a few days ago and told me everything that’s been going on with her. She may be playing games with me subconsciously or purposefully but I’m no longer that into her to care. She asked to see me as soon as she comes back into town from work which is next week and we planned a date. Then she also asked what I was doing for New Years and wants to spend it with me. Not only that but she started talking about a whole bunch of things to do in the future together and now I feel like she’s definitely thinking long term with me.. I’m consistently seeing progress with her every time I pull away. Every time I pull away she comes closer and closer and now I feel like she’s all over me because she’s constantly texting me now and I’m the one not responding because it’s a little too much.

I’m not playing games with her. I’m being there for her whenever she needs me to be, but I’m no longer obsessing over her or texting or calling her. I’m also No longer chasing her and constantly wanting to see her. I’m just doing my own thing and if she wants to be with me then cool, if not that’s fine. I have my own worth and quite frankly I feel like I’m definitely a catch. She was lucky I was trying that hard at first. She’s very pretty and all, but I love myself and have way too much self pride to be doing that. This thread has made me realize that I looked like a desperate boy and it completely embarrassed me.

So yeah, she’s definitely showing a lot more interest and I feel like it’s definitely because I’m no longer showing much interest. In a relationship it’s best to try and keep the interest level as leveled as possible.

I’ve been in many relationships and I know this works. I’ve had a beautiful girl act the same way but unfortunately I gave up and found someone else too quickly and by the time the old girl came and started asking me out I had to deny her. It’s funny because after 4 years, she still wants to hangout lol girls want what they can’t have.

[katrina1980]

@Rozhni, re 'girls wanting what they can't have', apparently that's true for you as well since you lost interest as soon as they became interested.

 

Look, I'm not judging, as I said I played that game for years without even knowing what it was! And yes it does "work" on certain girls.

 

I just think it's rather sad that a man (or woman) has to resort to "push/pull" and other games to get a girl interested in him.

 

Doesn't it get old? Wouldn't you rather find a girl whose interest is genuine and not based on push/pull or other gaming tactics?

 

I can tell you the man I'm dating now didn't use push/pull or gaming tactics to gain my interest and affection.

 

Our interest and attraction is based on a natural polarity, mutual chemistry/energy and compatibility.

 

In any event, sounds like you have it all figured out, so good for you!

[Rozhni]

Yes ofcorse I want someone who doesn’t play games. Once I open up to her and tell her how I feel about her and she continues to play the push pull with me, I know I will not take it. I will move on. She has always been honest with me and she never tried to make me jealous. She’s told me countless times that she’s not seeing anybody and that whenever she does go out, she wants me there. The problem I was having was that I didn’t believe her. I didn’t believe that she would go to work and then go straight home and stay inside. From what she told me the other day, she was going through a lot the past 2 months with family and financial issues. So Idk if that’s what it really was, but if she continues to stay consistent I can’t complain.

I admire your relationship. From what it sounds like, I would love something like that. I’m not sure if she’s playing a game with me or she was truly going through a lot, but games do get old quick. I’ve never been a fan.