How to move on and stop checking their social media

[hope19]

Anyone who read my last thread will know my situation, but I need help. I don't know how to move on. I can't stop checking his new girlfriend's social media it's become a bad habit. Some days I am so ready to move on, I mean he's been with his "rebound" for three months and NC with me for two. But then I see the little signs that give me hope like the playlist he made about missing exes and life sucking and wanting to go back in time, or the fact that he never posts about her and always did with me. Or the way his new gf is insecure and obsessed with stalking my social media and copying my posts/trying to rub things in my face (see last thread). Or I think about how even after we broke up he told me his feelings for me hadn't changed and that if we were in the same place we would still be together and he wouldn't have felt the need to go out and date/experience other people and find a relationship at school. All of these things always give me reasons to hang on and believe he will come to his senses once he realizes this girl isn't me and she's much more immature and he's only with her because he can't handle a distanced relationship and needs someone there with him (he is very emotional/sensitive and also a bit insecure).

But then I cave and I check her social media (the app she posts on I have her blocked but I can still see what she posts, just can't "like" or republish her images, it's a photography app). And this morning she posted pictures of him holding a wrapped gift he gave her with hearts he drew on the box and then a picture of a bracelet he bought her with him laying on her bed in the background and it ripped my heart out all over again. I need to stop this but I don't know how to quit the habit. I feel like I keep checking because I just want to find any possible sign that he isn't as happy with her or any sign that he misses me and whenever I find one of those signs it gives me hope and satisfaction and confirms my suspicions until I see her post another cutesy picture of them that indicates otherwise. I feel so stuck and lost and my heart is just breaking at the thought of him driving two hours to her house over their break like he used to do for me and spending the New Year's plans that we had with her. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I want to be happy and move on and be enjoying the holidays with my family instead of constantly wondering if he's coming back like he said he might or waiting for their relationship to falter.

[ThatwasThen]

They say that if you replace a bad habit with a good one, you'll be over the bad one in no time at all. You should just block and delete all of them and be done with them. If he wants to contact you he knows how (but don't hope for that).

 

If you're too embroiled in what he's doing to think that you can not do that then next time you're jonesing to creep his life (or hers) then put on your running shoes and go for a run or get yourself outside to ride a bike or go for a long walk or go to the gym or even get dolled up and head out to the mall. Do one of those things every time you have the urge to stalk them. Soon enough you'll not see the value in seeing what they're up to and you'll have rehabbed from your bad addiction onto something that will keep you happy.

 

You want to have a goal of getting over him and not waiting around for someone who is in another relationship. You're stagnating in your hope which is keeping you from moving on when you should be doing everything you can to accept it's over so you too can move on like he has.

 

Make this your first day of your new resolution to get him out-of-your-head.

[boltnrun]

Block his profile. Yes, you can.

 

How much fun are you having torturing yourself by viewing his social media? Do you want to continue to hurt yourself or do you want this to just stop? You have all the power over what your fingers click on or tap.

[hope19]

Thank you, I am going to try really hard, it's just hard to fight sudden impulses when my head says "just check it once, it can't hurt". My New Year's resolution is to move the hell on. I guess I just wish he missed me and had regrets or at least that he wouldn't find pure love and happiness in the first girl who came along two weeks after we broke up. But I guess that's every dumpee's dream.

[Raindropsun]

I was in a similar boat. My ex and I were together for 3 years before we broke up. After we broke up we were still friends on fb but he would block me from time to time from seeing certain posts but made sure I saw the ones where there's a girl in pics.

 

I blocked him because I was torturing myself. But that didn't help because I was able to unblock him whenever I wanted.

 

But as for you. I would say block the new girl but on the other hand you can always unblock her sonit doesn't help.

 

You should focus the energy on something else. Something more beneficial that's going to make you grow.

[hope19]

I was in a similar boat. My ex and I were together for 3 years before we broke up. After we broke up we were still friends on fb but he would block me from time to time from seeing certain posts but made sure I saw the ones where there's a girl in pics.

 

I blocked him because I was torturing myself. But that didn't help because I was able to unblock him whenever I wanted.

 

But as for you. I would say block the new girl but on the other hand you can always unblock her sonit doesn't help.

 

You should focus the energy on something else. Something more beneficial that's going to make you grow.

 

That's exactly my issue, I KNOW I can unblock them, so blocking doesn't really help me. Plus the fact that the main app she uses I can still see her profile even when she's blocked. Not to mention my ex unblocked me on Instagram recently and made his profile public again (he had made it private so I "wouldn't be hurt" by any pictures of them, although he hasn't posted anything except one when they first started dating). I think I'm going to take the above advice and replace it with a healthy habit. Whenever I get tempted I'll do a plank or push-ups or make myself go drink a glass of water because I don't drink nearly enough lol.