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Communicating during the holidays


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Great second date yesterday. Dinner and then to an open mic night. Great kisses when he brought me back at my place.


I am going back to my country for three weeks for the holidays. Yesterday, he asked when I was coming back and I told him and initially he said like "Ok I will see you then" and then I said that I was thinking we could text or call each other during the holidays. And him "Sure, give me a call" and then he said goodbye.


We had our first date on Friday and before we were both away, so technically we have exchanged texts only to schedule our dates or him asking on Friday if I had a safe trip back (I went back on a taxi).


So in a way I don't know what should be better. Keep up the flame with phone calls? And should I be the one to call first? And how do I suggest that he should be the one to call the next time?


One of the things my ex was good at, was sending me links (we were already friends on FB at the beginning) or messages during the day and every day he said Good morning, and that was almost from the beginning but seen how it went actually I am thinking that how this is going now is more "normal". Two adults who have gone to two dates are still technically strangers, right?


What are your thoughts and suggestions?



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It'd be pretty tedious for me if I had to keep up any form of steady contact with a lady I hardly knew over the holidays, and if that's something you expect, I think you shot yourself in the foot going on first and second dates just prior to leaving the country for a few weeks. Sounds like his gut preference was to hang out again once you come back, but he'd be fine if you wanted to call him occasionally. Given that, I'd really try not to draw up comparisons with your ex in terms of daily communication.


The silver lining is that, at least by your admission, it sounds like things have gone well, and I have little doubt he'll be eager to see you again once you've returned. While the holidays can be a pretty romantic time and I'm sure he won't put his dating life on hold while you're gone, I highly doubt he'll be in a new relationship in the three weeks until you get the chance to see him again. Enjoy your time at home with your friends and family!

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Hi J! Thanks, that's what I was thinking. Eh eh, for that I could not do otherwise, we met a few weeks ago so it wasn't premeditated. But yes I know he wants to see me again (he was the one to ask when I was coming back and we also talked about things to do later) so I will keep it easy. That's how I would like for this to go.

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Ultimately, if you want to keep up some form of communication during the holiday, then you should be the one making the first move. Then trying to find a way to get him to call you after that seems a little manipulative, as it is what you want and not necessarily what he wants. As the J.man said, this guy seems to be cool with just catching you on the flipside, because, you have only been out twice.


And then you start to tell us what your ex used to do. What does that have to do in the scheme of things?


If you want to talk to him while you are away, then ring him. If in the banter on that phone call you can persuade him to call you the go for it. Just cast aside you expectations based upon what your ex did.

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Hi Keyman, thanks for your input. No I mentioned my ex because I realised his behaviour was not the norm and that what I am doing with this guy in terms of communication is the norm. I actually like this more, because we remain "a mistery" to each other for a bit more.

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