BobbySeagle Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 I feel my hope of getting back with my ex is over for good. We broke up 12 months ago. I did the breaking up and during that time I've been begging and doing no contact but then breaking it. I know I did everything wrong. I have no strategy and I'm needy. The breakup was pretty nasty and I said a lot of hurtful things. Throughout the course of these months she does reply to my texts but most of the time ignores it. In October she recently started dating someone new. On November 23rd after 11 days of no contact I texted her asking if we can talk on the phone. Surprisingly she agreed to it. We spoke for an hour from 1am-2am and we were laughing and talking about work and stuff as if nothing happened. It felt like old times. Later as I was speaking to her, I asked if she is still dating someone. She said "They're kind of dating but not really, they don't see each other that often". She then asked if I was dating anyone and I told her I went on a date last week but it didn't work out. My ex asked me "why didn't it work out?" and I told her we didn't have anything in common. My ex then asked "where did I go with my date?" and how "did I meet her?" I told her we went for coffee and I met her on a dating website. She seemed kind of quiet when she asked if I was dating anyone when I said yea I also asked my ex if she's happy dating him and she said "it's different". I asked her what do you mean like in a good way or bad way?, and she said "I don't know it's just different".I reiterated my question asking her again if she's happy dating him and she said "Yeah I'm happy." My opinion is things aren't working out with her and him. I then made the mistake after by begging and being needy telling her I apologize for why things didn't work out and telling her that I want to work things out with her. I spoke for 12 minutes telling her how I feel. She was listening and saying yea as I was talking and I told her I'm trying to move on but when I meet other women all I think about is her. My ex said "I will find someone" and I told her that I want her and she was quiet after. I asked (big mistake) if she would ever consider breaking up with her date and try working things out with me, and she said "probably not". After that I told her it was nice talking that it's getting late and we said goodnight. The first half of the conversation went well and she did most of the talking and when I started begging I think it turned her off. My best friend told me. She's probably down playing her date by telling me "they're kind of dating but not really that they don't see each other often" so it doesn't seem like a big deal and to hurt me and possibly keep her relationship private. He said I need to be calm and collective and stop showing my neediness if she does reach out again in the future. I need to drop all contact and if she really cares she'll reach out. I dated her for a year and a half, and she's always been honest and straightforward. I don't think she would downplay it because I knew she was dating him already in October. For her to say that won't have merit and it would do the opposite. She also said dating him "it's different". She could have been straightforward and said they're still dating but for her to go in depth and say all this, maybe things are in limbo with them but she's still willing to see where things go with him? What are your thoughts everyone? She could be testing me or stringing me along as a backup, but for her to talk on the phone and laugh as if nothing happened from 1am-2am says something? I'm planning not to contact her again. My hopes is during Christmas and New Years when she doesn't hear from me, maybe she'll reach out and miss me. I'm currently in No Contact for 21 days now and counting. Thanks for your help, just wanted your personal opinions Link to comment
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