No Response from Guy I Guess I Like

[DaisyMayPorter]

I have this great guy friend, he's awesome, we used to be co-workers, we live far away from each other. There's always been something between us, but nothing ever happened. The last couple weeks, we were texting/calling quite a bit. Last Friday, I actually texted him asking for advice, then went to my friend's for lunch, and he texted back within 15 minutes. I didn't check my phone for a couple of hours since I was at my friend's. So I didn't respond to him until later that afternoon. He's always very quick to respond. Sometimes (alot of times) it takes me awhile to get back to him, because I'm well, scared, of, I don't know... We're friends, but we've always had something more between us, and sometimes I guess either I'm afraid of what I do say will be lame, or I'm just scared or something, so I always plan out what I'm going to say. Anyway usually he's very responsive, but this afternoon I text him to give him an update on my job situation (I'm interviewing for a new job), and tell him a funny story, and he doesn't respond. I know things are different between us now because we are no longer co-workers and now we are just "friends". But why don't guys respond sometimes? Ugh.

[IAmFCA]

Maybe he is mirroring your behavior, thinking you not as interested as he. Sounds like he is an extravert and you n introvert. He may not understand that you think before you speak.

 

Have you thought about asking him for brunch or something?

[SweetGirl28]

Give him time!

 

He could have been busy, driving, or might have missed the text.

I sometimes am guilty of reading a text, can't reply, then get busy and it's a while before I respond.

Being friends is different than being in a relationship.

Friends are allowed to let some time lapse.

 

If he doesn't reply, send him a follow up text tomorrow, asking if everything is okay.

[sublimek2]

Sometimes (alot of times) it takes me awhile to get back to him

 

But why don't guys respond sometimes? Ugh.

 

I thought this was pretty funny.

 

 

But seriously, I have to say that you're probably more upset that he isn't returning your affection or maybe it's crossed your mind that he might have a life wherever he's at now. Why didn't you pursue him when he was right in front of you?

[Andrina]

Long distance relationships rarely work out when starting that way. They are expensive. You have to date at an abnormal pace since with visits, they are longer than an average date and it might get smothering. And then one person will eventually have to move if it actually worked out, one person is sacrificing living in a place where they don't know anybody and they've had to leave all of their friends and family behind.

 

I'd stick to dating locally. Who would choose to be lonely night after night and day after day, being pen pals with a slight possibility?

 

When I've sensed something between me and a guy but he never asked me out, I found out later he liked the ego boost that I had a crush on him but he just wasn't that into me, or already had a girlfriend and kept that from me.

 

When the right guy comes along, you will know he's into you and you won't have to guess. Plus, he will make things happen and won't let anyone else snap you up because he wants you all to himself. He's worth the wait.

[IAmFCA]

I missed the LDR angle. Big difference!

 

Let it be. He'll pop up.

[DaisyMayPorter]

Yes I will give him time to get back to me, since I do the same to him. I never give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

He used to live in my city for years but moved to a new state FAR away to be closer to his aging retired dad, but he still comes to my town every few months for work (where the office is.) Regardless of that, yes why didn’t I do something any of the times he was in front of me... good question! Because we are both idiots! We saw each other a few months ago and spent a whole week together at a conference, but still couldn’t take the leap. My friend a couple weeks ago said, “next time you see him, just make a move”. I think he’ll be in town next month. Nothing is stopping me now since we don’t work together anymore. (Except the distance- ha!) But for now it’s best to just, like you said Andrina, date local. Thanks for the advice everyone.

[MissCanuck]

If you often take your time getting back to him, you can't be too surprised now that he's doing the same. Taking one's time is not the same as "no response."

 

If this is long-distance, though, it might not be the best option for you. You admit you never give people the benefit of the doubt. That mindset won't work well if you two started dating, because a LDR requires you to let down your guard more and trust the other person even if they're not in your vicinity for long stretches.

 

I agree that dating locally would be better at this point.

[DaisyMayPorter]

I know, I was thinking the same thing, if I do it (not on purpose), why shouldn't he do it. I just hate wondering, but need to stop worrying and just let go.

[IAmFCA]

I know, I was thinking the same thing, if I do it (not on purpose), why shouldn't he do it. I just hate wondering, but need to stop worrying and just let go.

 

If you're anxious now, dating will make it worse.

[DaisyMayPorter]

very true! Thanks!