Notsofunnyguy Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Dear friends at eNotAlone, Hello! Something has been bothering me for quite some time now, and I was googling to see if someone has had similar situation. I came across this site and I decided to join and ask you guys for help, this community seems both active and helpful. So here is the thing, I have an online female friend, we live in different countries (She is in the Netherlands and I'm from the middle east, yet we are both from the same country but she was raised there). We have been friends for more than a year and we are pretty close. I think we have texted each other almost every day from the day we started chatting, and sometimes our chats take long, but this is what is a bit alarming for me. I am a bit concerned that she might have developed some feelings beyond the spectrum of friendship. I kinda feel that she expects the behavior one would expect from a boyfriend. To text back on-demand, to memorize her daily schedule (God forbid if forget something about her work). She starts fights because I could not text back for a few hours (yes, only for a few hours). And even if I don't text back for like a day, she starts apologizing and just says how "She needs to talk to me" or "She would not trade my friendship with the world" or other things like that. Once she started a fight and when I told her maybe we should talk less or something, she cried for hours. I can give you further details but I think that would be redundant. I have to say that I really like her, she is a very good friend, I feel comfortable to talk to her about my feelings, but I kinda feel like that it is turning into some kind of obligation. In a relationship (more than friends), you are obliged to make time for your SO no matter what. But demanding a friend to be there all the time, every moment of every day, is a bit odd. I can't simply ask her, and she is going through a lot of problems (family, work, depression etc.) and I want to be her helping hand... but as a friend. I tried to ask her about her future plans regarding a relationship and she told e a few times that she doesn't even think about a relationship or joked about not finding the guy she wants. On the other hand she keeps telling me that she can't imagine not talking to me even for one day. I don't know what to make out of it. I'm currently single, but I might start dating in a few months (currently I am so preoccupied that I can not guarantee a girl's emotional stability and satisfaction) and I can't imagine hurting her. On the other hand, when I start dating eventually, I will not text a female friend 24/7, it is very disrespectful to my future SO, and it might even be distructive for her. Btw, we're both 26. I don't know what to do. Is she in love with me? If so, what can I do? I can't simply shut her down. Link to comment
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