I decided not to accept my friend calls the remainder of the year

[abitbroken]

No was never given that opportunity

 

You should ASK -- "i'd love to meet your husband". if she is your good friend of many years, you would WANT to meet the man who stole her heart. When my friends meet someone special, I WANT to meet them because I care about my friends.

 

what is wrong with her calling on her way home from work a couple of times of month?

 

I thought you meant you met up with her on weekends a couple times a month. But even if you mean just on the phone, if her husband is not aware of your lengthy conversations - is not aware of the scope of your friendship - then that's not on the up and up.

[moneymkt]

You should ASK -- "i'd love to meet your husband". if she is your good friend of many years, you would WANT to meet the man who stole her heart. When my friends meet someone special, I WANT to meet them because I care about my friends.

 

 

 

I thought you meant you met up with her on weekends a couple times a month. But even if you mean just on the phone, if her husband is not aware of your lengthy conversations - is not aware of the scope of your friendship - then that's not on the up and up.

 

Well her commute is an hour or so and plus I don't think her husband watches sports so that's why she calls me so we can talk for a hour or so

[abitbroken]

Well her commute is an hour or so and plus I don't think her husband watches sports so that's why she calls me so we can talk for a hour or so

 

soo..what does her husband not watching sports have to do with you not meeting him or her calling you?

[moneymkt]

soo..what does her husband not watching sports have to do with you not meeting him or her calling you?

 

I was explaining why she calls me because she doesn't get to talk about sports with him because he doesn't watch it.

[abitbroken]

I was explaining why she calls me because she doesn't get to talk about sports with him because he doesn't watch it.

 

So you are a filling a need that he is not filling. She can talk sports with her dad or brothers or sisters who like them. There are plenty of women who also talk sports - her old teammates from college, or new women she meets through a meetup group. Unless hubby meets you, I am sorry, but this is inappropriate. Just fill in the blanks "her husband doesn't provide.___so i fill that need". Insert words like sex, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, relates to my kid's disability and my husband doesn't."

 

So - either stop talking for hours with her or you tell he you would like to go to dinner with her and her husband so you can finally meet him. That way you are on the up and up and are sure that he approves of this friendship - bring him into the fold. It may cool you off as well.

[moneymkt]

So you are a filling a need that he is not filling. She can talk sports with her dad or brothers or sisters who like them. There are plenty of women who also talk sports - her old teammates from college, or new women she meets through a meetup group. Unless hubby meets you, I am sorry, but this is inappropriate. Just fill in the blanks "her husband doesn't provide.___so i fill that need". Insert words like sex, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, relates to my kid's disability and my husband doesn't."

 

So - either stop talking for hours with her or you tell he you would like to go to dinner with her and her husband so you can finally meet him. That way you are on the up and up and are sure that he approves of this friendship - bring him into the fold. It may cool you off as well.

 

It would be the same for me if I was dating someone who wasn't into football. I would call a friend to talk about the game if someone I am dating doesn't watch football.

[Batya33]

I think it's her problem to tell her husband about you and give him the opportunity to meet -I don't think you have to ask her whether she's behaving appropriately. I can see where a long commute is made easier by chatting about sports. But your reactions tell me, again, that this has far less to do with her technical impoliteness and much more to do with your underlying feelings for her.