Envious of others

[MopeyCircle]

Broke up with my ex-gf a little over 3 months ago. I am having problems talking with a friend who is just starting a relationship and is in that overwhelming happiness stage. I have deep feelings of envy to the point where I want to change the subject whenever she brings up her new relationship. I know it’s ridiculous and so on top of the envy I feel ashamed for my feelings of jealousy. I am happy for her but I guess it’s true, misery loves company. Has anyone else had this issue and have any tips for handling my envy and eventual shame from my envy?

[rosephase]

You can always let your friends know how you are feeling.

 

"Hey I'm happy for you but I'm really struggling with envy right now do you mind keeping the gushing about your new relationship on the back burner until I'm a bit more healed?"

 

Don't heap shame on top of hard feelings. Feelings are feelings. We all have some we wish we could change. But I find facing them, admitting to them, looking at them... helps more then trying to shove them down and pretend they aren't happening.

 

I find when envy is getting the best of me that focusing on gratitude really helps. What are you grateful for? What are the good, lovely, peaceful, exciting things in your life?

 

It's a little silly but I find writing out what I'm grateful for once a day to be a solid way to keep my life in prospective.

[shessofly]

How about knowing that even though you are in pain now, your time will come again too? You will be able to look forward to a honeymoon stage of your own when the time is right.

[ThatwasThen]

Read "The Secret" or "The Power of Positive Thinking" and it will change your attitude if you read it with an open mind. What you put out into the Universe is what you get back so its important that you put out positive thoughts of joy and abundance.

[reinventmyself]

My best friend has a hard time being around me. She's come off of 4 years of a nasty relationship and is in a really bad place emotionally.

I am 4 mo's into a new, happy relationship and she can hardly be around me, let alone be happy for me.

I can receive a text from my guy and she'll just scowl at me. It's awkward.

 

Having said this, I just keep it to myself. It's pretty typical.

Sorry you are going through this and don't be so hard on yourself.

Just know that it's normal and trust that it won't always be this way.

[limichelle]

After my very first relationship ended where we had been on and off for a year.

I was invited to bridal showers and weddings. Trust me thats the last place i wanted to be.

I was 22 at the time. I remember going and showing up but i had to tell myself.

This will be my life one day and there will be those happy for me.

Eight months later i ended up in a decade long relationship. Seven years of those blissful!

 

Op its hard i know. After my decade relationship ended i didnt want to hear the word love.

 

Now im with someone new for five months.

 

You will find love again. Right now you need to heal and not beat yourself up over jealousy. Its okay to feel those things.

I think your friend should refrain from talking about her new guy around you out of respect for you.