Confused

[Texans]

I recently asked my husband if he was cheating because of the increase of him going out and also drinking. He than asked me questions about events that happen 14-25 years ago, two happen and one didn’t not but it about trust and he has none for me. Because I didn’t answer the way he believe , he wants a divorce, he wants to stay together til after the holidays and act normal for our adult kids. What I’m I to do?

[ThatwasThen]

See a lawyer before the holidays and find out what you'll get when you split the marital proceeds. Let him know what that will be. Then book marriage counselling and show him how much cheaper it will be to go that route to try and fix what's broken in communication and resolving conflict.

[lostandhurt]

No matter what you answered he would have wanted a divorce. I agree with above ^^^

 

Cheaters often turn it back on the person asking the questions to deflect from answering the question.

 

If he wants a divorce then tell him you need to think about what you want to do and then find a divorce attorney the next day. While he is out fooling around of at work make copies of all important documents, bank statements, retirement information and anything else that has value.

 

First and foremost protect yourself and your future and then see if counseling might work.

 

He is up to something.

 

Lost

[Texans]

We have talked again, he’s now saying I’ve done many other things that he’s not going to bring up, I asked if he stay for the kids and he said for me too, but he’s ready to be alone and wants us to use one lawyer. And be civil.

[Lester]

Unresolved issues could create strain/separation years later, but I think it's most likely an affair.

 

Secretly purchase James Dobson's "Love must be Tough"

Never let him see this book, and don't confuse Dobson, the inventor of TL, with current anger/vengeful laced versions.

[lostandhurt]

Don't be a door mat and offer to do anything except counseling. You shouldn't have to tolerate anything just to keep him there.

 

So he has a list of things he wants a divorce because of but is not going to bring them up? That is because the only thing he has is that he has a gf and wants to be free,

 

Of course he wants to be civil because he probably knows how much his gf is going to cost him in a divorce child support and spousal support.

 

There is no reason not to be civil but don't just lay down and let him walk all over you either. Do you work? How many children, how old? Do you own the house or rent?

 

I have to agree he more than likely has a gf so stopping this is unlikely. Your best bet is to protect yourself and make sure the divorce settlement is large enough to take care of you and your kids. Who knows the shock of the financial ruin he is facing just might bring him to the counseling table.

 

Be strong and brave. Talk to family and close friends for support and get advice for a good lawyer.

 

Lost