Ex avoids me/acts like I don't exist?

[mochifrapp]

Hey y'all,

 

Not really sure why my ex hates me and avoids me so much?

 

Over the past summer I was close friends with 2 boys, one of which I began dating. Those two were sharing an apartment at the time and are college roommates. Around 2 weeks before school started again, my ex's roommate told me he had feelings for me. When he found out, my ex told me he'd have to think about our relationship more--he said he liked me but was starting to become unsure whether he wanted a serious relationship, and also that we might need to take a break because his best friend had just been turned down. The roommate was always telling us he was okay, but we both knew he was just hiding it.

 

My ex and I have always been very honest with each other about any problems we've had, and it's something he really wanted to have in our relationship. Before we got back to campus, we talked about our relationship a few times and he told me that while he still needed to think about whether he wanted a serious relationship, he didn't have any problems with us. But the day after I saw him at school, while he told me he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, the roommate told me my ex just didn't like me anymore. I talked to my ex about it and he listed several reasons that he never talked to me about, but said we should still be friends. I was upset he hadn't tried to resolve any of it by talking to me, considering he was the biggest proponent of honesty, and things were fairly awkward for a week despite our attempts to be friendly.

 

After some other events where no matter how normal or friendly I was, I heard my ex was bothered by me (???), I just stopped contacting him for a week. I then tried to talk to him about things, but he ignored me. He's quit one of our clubs because I'm the new president, and has come up with elaborate schemes to avoid me (pretending to oversleep when his roommate came to get him is one. His roommate forgot something, came back, and found him awake and playing video games. My ex didn't say a word). He's told his roommate that he doesn't want to acknowledge I exist.

 

At the same time, his roommate is one of my best friends, and I spent a lot of time hanging out with him while making sure he understood it was platonic. After our breakup, my ex didn't want his roommate to walk me to a building alone at night--his roommate asked him why he went later, and he just cited some clearly made up reasons, so I suspect he was jealous? He's seen me studying with his roommate multiple times and knows we hang out a lot.

 

A friend thinks he broke up to protect his roommate's feelings since my ex was still affectionate towards me a couple days before the breakup and during a conversation a few days after, but I'm still not sure what to make of my ex's actions. Maybe he actually hates me?

[j.man]

Why are you "platonic" friends with a guy who admitted he has feelings for you? And at the expense of your ex's living space? Seems kind of ridiculous you'd come around his home, "friends" with the roommate or not.

[mochifrapp]

I turned him down when he confessed, but we were close friends so I just wanted to continue that without making things awkward. I can see how that could be a bad idea though!

 

To clarify, I don't go to their room, we hang out mostly in study rooms and common rooms.

[shessofly]

”the roommate told me my ex just didn't like me anymore. I talked to my ex about it and he listed several reasons that he never talked to me about..”

 

What were those reasons, exactly? Sometimes people want to put space between themselves and an ex after a breakup. He said he wanted to forget the whole thing. I think that’s why he ignores and avoids you, and doesn’t want the roommate hanging with you. As to reasons why, I can’t even begin to guess. Provide some more detail about why he broke up.

[Capricorn3]

Reverse the roles and put yourself in his shoes. How would YOU feel if he did that to you?