Dating Younger Men

[Vibing]

So I'm a woman approaching 50 probably look some years younger as ive been told 40 at most. About early 40s i dated men 25-35. I was slim, and still had that youthful glowing skin. Yes! These young men had it all together. A job on Wall street, entrepreneurs, own apt , car, excellent credit scores. Heck some of them were doing better than me. It wasnt just sex there was a plan in place. Where do you want to go, and we were out having so much fun. Anyway getting to the point I can still attract them, however at this point in my life I question if im filling a void. Sex is not the same for me on the endurance level I'm aging..grays are coming in skin isnt as taut as before and I'm feeling insecure. Do you think men really do care about appearances in the bedroom? Also their erections are flaccid so I question my body image. My hygiene is excellent.

[Batya33]

It sounds more like you are looking to have casual sex with younger men and perhaps occasionally going on dates. I don't think age really matters in that situation. I also think men are individuals like women are individuals and have different preferences when it comes to casual dating and casual sex if they are interested in casual dating and casual sex in the first place. It also sounds like your focus is on men who have lucrative careers and lots of money and material things -so that might narrow the casual dating pool for you because I would think in general with exceptions those men who feel as you do -that that means "having it all together" likely would prefer to have a younger woman on his/her arm for casual dating. As far as casual sex ,not sure.

[indea08]

As men get older, their erections don't get as hard as they did when they were 25-35. That has nothing at all to do with you.

 

As far as men caring about appearance in the bedroom, that's a pretty big blanket to just throw all men under. Men who are after casual sex may care about appearance, but many may not. Men who are looking to date may be more interested in the intellectual connection, but may care to some extent about appearance as well. Every man is different. I would assume that most men look for a woman in a relatively similar age group, so they would expect the body to have aged as the mind has.

 

I, personally, think that you are far more bothered by your aging than the men you're worried about.

[ThatwasThen]

As men get older, their erections don't get as hard as they did when they were 25-35. That has nothing at all to do with you.

At 25-35 their erections don't get as hard? Sorry, I disagree. Maybe at 50 - 60 but i'd question a guys T levels if he's having a problem that young.

 

Perhaps these men that the Op is getting with are having stage fright due to any number of reasons.

[mustlovedogs]

At 25-35 their erections don't get as hard? Sorry, I disagree. Maybe at 50 - 60 but i'd question a guys T levels if he's having a problem that young.

 

Perhaps these men that the Op is getting with are having stage fright due to any number of reasons.

 

I think you misread their sentence. Their erections aren't as hard as young men 25-35.

[ThatwasThen]

I think you misread their sentence. Their erections aren't as hard as young men 25-35.

 

No, I read it correctly.

[mustlovedogs]

No, I read it correctly.

 

The poster is definitely NOT saying the erections are less hard for men 25-35 - maybe I'm misunderstanding you. I take it as a comparison of older men to younger ones 25-35.

[ThatwasThen]

Well, when you take into consideration that the Op has said that she date(s) men 25-30 years old and finds that they are flaccid then my comment applies. I'm not quite sure why Indea would say that men's erections aren't as hard as they were when they were 25-30 (when the op's dates are flaccid at that age.

 

Does that clarify what I'm meaning any better?

[Krankor]

So, what I'm gathering is that you're afraid that the party is winding down.

 

OK, I'm going to speak bluntly in a way some may not like. Studies do show that men are more sensitive to signs of aging in women than women are to signs of aging in men. Why would that be? Well, think about it. Our primary motivation in life is survival and reproduction. Wrinkles and gray hairs on a woman are a sign that she probably is no longer fertile. Of course, men don't look at an older woman and think "nah, I don't think I could get her pregnant." They just maybe aren't going to be as attracted to her because their biological hard-wiring is telling them that it's not likely to yield results.

 

Women know this instinctively as well and so as a strategy do whatever they can to enhance a youthful appearance with makeup, hair dye, wrinkle cream, staying in shape, etc. And a lot of what some may call "MILFS" do so pretty successfully well into their 40s and possibly their 50s.

 

When it comes to casual mating since it has such lower potential costs to males they are so much more likely to engage in it. So you will probably still be able to find plenty of younger guys who are willing to sleep with you for a while yet. But the pool, frankly, will get smaller and smaller in all likelihood.

 

But the question here is, what do you really want? Is your goal to spend your 50s living the same as you did in your 40s, dating 25-35 year olds? If it is, I guess I would just say do your best to stay in as good of shape ad possible, dye those gray hairs, etc. However, if you want a more meaningful relationship...if you want companionship, I'd start looking around your own age or slightly older.

[ThatwasThen]

So, what I'm gathering is that you're afraid that the party is winding down.

 

OK, I'm going to speak bluntly in a way some may not like. Studies do show that men are more sensitive to signs of aging in women than women are to signs of aging in men. Why would that be? Well, think about it. Our primary motivation in life is survival and reproduction. Wrinkles and gray hairs on a woman are a sign that she probably is no longer fertile. Of course, men don't look at an older woman and think "nah, I don't think I could get her pregnant." They just maybe aren't going to be as attracted to her because their biological hard-wiring is telling them that it's not likely to yield results.

 

Women know this instinctively as well and so as a strategy do whatever they can to enhance a youthful appearance with makeup, hair dye, wrinkle cream, staying in shape, etc. And a lot of what some may call "MILFS" do so pretty successfully well into their 40s and possibly their 50s.

 

When it comes to casual mating since it has such lower potential costs to males they are so much more likely to engage in it. So you will probably still be able to find plenty of younger guys who are willing to sleep with you for a while yet. But the pool, frankly, will get smaller and smaller in all likelihood.

 

But the question here is, what do you really want? Is your goal to spend your 50s living the same as you did in your 40s, dating 25-35 year olds? If it is, I guess I would just say do your best to stay in as good of shape ad possible, dye those gray hairs, etc. However, if you want a more meaningful relationship...if you want companionship, I'd start looking around your own age or slightly older.

 

... and there you go... that is the jist of it.